Chorus:

[MURS] Have you heard them stories bout Henrietta Longbottom?

[Slug] Yeah, I heard a lot of 'em and everybody got 'em

[MURS] I never really met her but I know it's all true

[Slug] I never seen her either but my brother say she cool

[MURS] Rumors get around through the hood with the quickness

[Slug] Everyone's a customer, all up in your business

[MURS] Ones in your circle that don't even know ya

[Slug] The same one's that circulate the stories for ya

Verse One [MURS]

I seen Henrietta sittin' down by the rail

Messin' with a camel toe, talkin' on her cell

Breakin' up some weed, gettin' ready for her blunt

But she never felt the need to fix the wedgie in the front

[Slug]

She kept to herself, only had a few associates

People of the village got curious

But most would just make up stories

Some rumors, some gossip

But Henrietta didn't care, hands in her pockets

[MURS]

I heard she used to kick it down by the riverbed

She used to date an old man that lived out in a shed

I heard he had blue hair, honestly, who cares?

The whole town used to say, "I wonder what they do there?"

[Slug]

Well, I heard he was bird

Plus he was her dad

Father of a dragon ball, her momma was a crocodile

They used to drag race down at the strip

In a Chevy Nova, crossbow with an extra clip

[MURS]

Hands up when they rollin' through your city

Chewin' on some stuff, mix it up with some Wrigley

Fumes from the car makin' everybody dizzy

Bumpin' Flaming Lips, Johnny Cash and Biggie

[Slug]

Kick in the door, beatin' her dead horse

It died, she made dog food, no loss

She's a hooligan, amateur sex movies and fresh kicks

But her breath smells like Chicken boullion

Chorus

[MURS] Have you heard them stories bout Henrietta Longbottom?

[Slug] Yeah, I heard a lot of 'em and everybody got 'em

[MURS] I never really met her but I know it's all true

[Slug] I never seen her either but my brother say she cool

[MURS] Rumors get around through the hood with the quickness

[Slug] Everyone's a customer, all up in your business

[MURS] Ones in your circle that don't even know ya

[Slug] The same one's that circulate the stories for ya

Verse Two [MURS]

She had a pink bandanna hangin' out her back pocket

She was in a gang that wore miss matched socks and

Met up every Tuesday for beer and some bingo

Since the horse died, she had to ride a flamingo

[Slug]

Ha, he couldn't talk but he knew how to sing she

Did a little dust then cut off his wings then

Stuck them to her back, took a sniff of gasoline

And went door to door tryin' to sell magazines

[MURS]

Hair in a ponytail cocked to the side

Patch on her left, open up the right eye

Dentalfloss and band-aids to hold her pants up

20 inch waist but a double D cup

[Slug]

W T Fuck, whoo, she's a true fox

She uses glue to hold up her tube socks

She's a ninja, high score on Centipede

Played pro hockey till her body caught an injury

[MURS]

Henrietta Henrietta, girl where you been?

Drowning in a bathtub filled up with gin

Doesn't work a lot but she grows her own crop

Last week she killed some Navy Seals for tryin' to steal her crop

[Slug]

I don't know if you care or you invest

But Henrietta's dead, no more, no less

Never really met her so I'm not losin' sleep

But Longbottom is long gone, rest in peace

Chorus

[MURS] Have you heard them stories bout Henrietta Longbottom?

[Slug] Yeah, I heard a lot of 'em and everybody got 'em

[Outro: Aesop Rock]

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