[Intro: Peter, Audience, Brian & Bruce]

(Hm) Mr. Booze (Mr. Booze)

Mr. Booze

Mr. B-double-O-Z-E (Mm)

That sure spells booze

[Verse 1: Peter, Audience, Brian & Bruce, & Bruce]

You will wind up wearin' tattered shoes, if you mess with Mr. Booze (Don't mess with Mr. Booze)

(Don't mess with Mr. Booze)

Don't mess with Mr. B-double-O-Z-E If you been so stiff they'd thought you died

You'll feel better once you've testified

Testify, testify (Oh, yeah)

I wanna testify, I wanna testify (Testify, testify)

Well then cleanse yourself my son, cleanse yourself

[Spoken: Bruce]

One time I took a lie-berry book out and I fells asleep readin' it and I left it under the bed

I forgot about it for three and a half years

I was gonna take it back on Amnesty Day, but on Amnesty Day I had a sip of Rosé wine, and I never made it out of the house

[Pre-Chorus: Peter, Audience & Both]

Who's to blame? (Who's to blame?)

What's his name?

We know his name, his name is

[Chorus: All]

Mr. Booze, Mr. Booze

Mr. B-double-O-Z-E, he don't ever choose

Any game you play with him, you'll lose, so don't mess with Mr. Booze

[Verse 2: Peter, Audience, Brian, & Carl]

If your head feels like it's two miles wide (Two miles wide)

You'll feel better once you've testified

Testify, testify (Oh, yeah)

I wanna testify, I wanna testify (Testify, testify)

Well, come forward dear brother and testify

[Spoken: Carl & Audience members]

I used to be a soda pop guy, then I switched to the bottle

Now I don't leave my couch, and I've seen every movie ever

You name a movie, I've seen it (Meet Dave?)

Seen it (The Eiger Sanction?)

Seen it (Donovan's Reef?)

Seen it (License to Drive?)

Definitely seen it

[Pre-Chorus: Peter, Bruce & Brian, Audience & All]

That's a shame (What a shame)

Who's to blame for Corey Haim?

[Chorus: All, Tom Tucker & Peter]

Mr. Booze, Mr. Booze

Mr. B-double-O-Z-E, he you must refuse

You'll make the obituary news If you mess with Mr. Booze

If you've been so stiff they'd thought you died

You'll feel better once you've testified

Testify, testify

This man wants to testify (Testify)

Very well my brother (Testify)

Let us lead him on the path of righteousness

[Spoken: Tom Tucker & Ollie Williams]

This poor gentleman used to speak in long, eloquent sentences

But after years of drinking, he can only speak in short, choppy utterances

Why, at one time, if you asked him who his favorite musicians were, he'd say Leonard Bernstein, Johann Sebastian Bach and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

But thanks to that old devil hooch, it's all changed

Who's your favorite musician, Ollie? (Cher)

He doesn't even like Cher

[Bridge: Brian, Audience, Bruce, Dr. Hartman, & *Peter*]

Now alcohol makes a big man small, and can lead to a life of crime (Yeah)

Demon rum makes a gent a bum, and cash in before your time (Yeah)

Bootleg gin puts you in a spin 'til you don't even know your name (Yeah)

*You're a basket case flat on your face, and there's only one guy to blame*

[Chorus: Peter, Male Choir, Female Choir, & Audience]

(Oh, Mr. B-double-O-Z-E-B) Mr. Booze, Mr. Booze (B-double-O-Z-E-B)

Mr. B-double-O-Z-E (B-double-O-Z-E, B-double-O-Z-E), he don't ever choose (Oh, someday you will)

You will wind up wearin' tattered shoes If you mess with Mr. Booze (Don't mess with Mr. Booze)

Oh, Mr. Booze (Don't mess with Mr. Booze)

Oh, Mr. Booze (Don't mess with Mr. Booze)

[Post-Chorus: Brian & Audience]

Don't mess with B-double-O-Z-E

'Cause that spells booze

And your gonna lose with Mr. Booze (Oh, yeah)

Don't mess around with Mr. Booze

[Outro: Bruce, Audience, Peter]

(Don't mess with Mr. Booze) That's what he said now

(Don't mess with Mr. Booze)

Oh, Mr. Booze (Don't mess with Mr. Booze)

Oh, Mr., Mr. Booze, oh, Mr., Mr. Booze

(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, ah)

Oh, Mr., Mr. Booze, don't mess with

Ah, oh, Mr. Booze

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah (Ah)

Yeah