[Verse 1: Example]

She looked better in her MySpace profile, no smile

Looking to the ground all obscure and docile

Her hair was quite cool but her clothes were not

Suppose we're all looking better when we're photoshopped

She said "damn you're so much buffer in the flesh, you know?

Would you sign my dress and all my CDs? Your show was well professional

Say you ain't forgotten me from Nottingham, Thursday

I'm really fucking loving you but not in a nerd way"

[Verse 2: Scroobius Pip]

Now let me tell the tale of my very first stalker

Not a lady but a man called Damian Walker

I get a six foot bloke with a bad crew cut

While others get hot girls that just want to

Damian on MySpace will message me each day

After a week there became very little left to say

Then he said "we should maybe meet up at the show

I've gotta show you something you're gonna love, I just know"

[Hook: Example (Scroobius Pip) x2]

She followed me home, she followed me home

She's seen me once and now she'll never leave me alone

(Don't follow me, no, don't follow me, no)

(If I see you at a show, I'll grab my mic and I'll go)

[Verse 3: Example]

Then she pulls out her ticket stubs, shoves them in my hand

I say "yeah, that's wicked love, you really are a fan"

She'd seen me with Hadouken!, The Rifles and The Streets

Clearly she was eager but she still seemed sweet

She said "ok, Mr Gleave, can you sign my dress?"

But as I went to write my name, she pulled out her breast

I stared at her tit and then froze

She had a tattoo of my face with her nipple in the middle as my nose

[Verse 4: Scroobius Pip]

That's an opening line that'll make you shiver

Then a week later you find your corpse washed up on a river

I didn't wanna read on but I had no choice

So now I read each line in a more menacing voice

He said "you see, I've got your lyrics tattooed on my hip

Now that proves, I'm the number one fan of you, Pip

I'm gonna get some more done, but this time even bigger

On my neck, under the tattoo of the swastika

[Hook]

[Verse 5: Example]

Ha, ok, that's a real nice picture

I must say that I'm flattered that my head's on your tit, uh

I didn't wanna tell her but I thought she was nast and a slut

Saw her arms and I noticed some cuts

She said "ah, don't worry, the scars have faded

I tried to kill myself when I heard you had a lady"

I signed her bust, grabbed my Moby and wrote

"Shiner, call a bodyguard and get me a quote"

[Verse 6: Scroobius Pip]

He said "I love that you're a part of the rise in white rap

With Mike Skinner, Example, Plan B and Just Jack

I can understand what you say and I'm happy with that

We've made the genre our own, but we ain't giving it back"

Now was I more offended that he only liked my music cause I'm white

Or cause he seemed to think that me and Just Jack were alike?

I messaged back saying "I don't really need your props, user"

Clicked send, moved the mouse and then just clicked block user

[Hook]

Well to be fair, mine was quite fit actually, I probably would've banged her

(I don't know what you're complaining about mate, mine was a massive racist, was rubbish)