Bagpipes from Baghdad - Intellectual

[Intro]

Oh, it's music to my ears

Oh, man, how can I describe the way I feel?

Fucking great, man

Okay, let me see

How could I begin?

[Verse 1]

Locked in Mariah's wine cellar, all I had for lunch

Was bread, wine, more bread, wine and Cap'n Crunch

Red wine for breakfast and for brunch

And to soak it up, an in-between snack, crackers to munch

Mariah, what's ever happened to us?

Why did we have to break up? All I asked for was a glass of punch

You see, I never really asked for much, I can't imagine what's

Going through your mind after such

A nasty break-up with that Latin hunk

Luis Miguel, Nick Cannon, better back the fuck

Up, I'm not playin', I want her back, you're punk

This is Hello Kitty bedspread, Satin Funk

Mixed with Egyptian, with a little rap and punk

Zapp and Eric Clapton, Shaft, Frank Zappa, crunk

And, yeah, baby, I want another crack at ya

You can beat me with any spatula that you want

I mean, I really want you bad, you, cunt

Nick, you had your fun, I've come to kick you in your sack of junk

Man, I could use a fresh batch of blood

So prepare your vernacular for Dracula acupuncture

[Chorus]

Bagpipes from Baghdad

When will it ever cease? For Pete's sakes, he's crazy to say the least

Bagpipes from Baghdad

What's going through my mind half the time when I rhyme or blowing up, like

Bagpipes from Baghdad?

Somebody turn the vacancy sign on, 'cause I'm gone, blowing on my

Bagpipes from Baghdad

I run the streets and act like a madman, holding a Glad—

[Verse 2]

You can be a permanent fixture in my lyrical mixture

I'm the Miracle Whip trickster

My signature sound, when a tube of lipstick's around

I'm bound to put it on in an instant, wow

Man, what an ensemble! What an assortment of pharma—

Ceuticals, this beautiful pill dust in my palm, my

Cuticles get residue just from touchin' the bottle

Never knew I could remind me so much of my momma

I'll cut ya like Dahmer, pull a butcher knife on ya

The size of a sword, boy, I'm like the fuckin' Red Sonja

Get it stuck in your cornea, nice knowing ya, Norman

You're so fuckin' annoyin', drop the shovel, boy

You don't know what the fuck you're doin'

I ain't playin' no fuckin' more

Nick Cannon, you're prick, I wish you luck with the fuckin' whore

Every minute there's a sucker born, snuck up on Malachi

Made the motherfucker suck on a shuck of corn

Shuck o', shuck o' corn, Chaka Khan

Hit Jason in the face with a hockey puck, and

Told him it's fuckin' on, man, what the fuck are ya doin'?

You're runnin' over the snowblower with the lawnmower

Blowin' your bagpipes from Baghdad

[Chorus]

Bagpipes from Baghdad

When will it ever cease? For Pete's sakes, he's crazy to say the least

Bagpipes from Baghdad

What's going through my mind half the time when I rhyme or blowing up, like

Bagpipes from Baghdad?

Somebody turn the vacancy sign on 'cause I'm gone, blowing on my

Bagpipes from Baghdad

I run the streets and act like a madman, holding a Glad bag

[Verse 3]

In the bed with two brain-dead lesbian vegetables

I bet you they become heterosexual

"Nothing will stop me from molestin' you

Titty-fuckin' you 'til your breast nipple flesh tickles my testicles"

Is what I said to the two conjoined twins

"How's it going, girlfriends? You needs a boyfriend?

You need some ointment? Just set up an appointment

Who's gonna see the doctor first? We'll do a coin flip

I just got my one-year sobriety coin chip

When the bad get going, how bad does the going get?

Baby, you shouldn't have any trouble rubbing groins with

Each other, especially when you're joined at the hip"

I'm going to get the needle and thread from the sewing kit

And attempt to separate 'em and stitch 'em back at the loin, shit

Lure the little boy with the chocolate 'Chips Ahoy!' chip

Cookie, lookie, even took me a Polaroid pic'

[Chorus]

Bagpipes from Baghdad

When will it ever cease? For Pete's sakes, he's crazy to say the least

Bagpipes from Baghdad

What's going through my mind half the time when I rhyme or blowing up, like

Bagpipes from Baghdad?

Somebody turn the vacancy sign on 'cause I'm gone, blowing on my

Bagpipes from Baghdad

I run the streets and act like a madman, holding a Glad bag

Oh, bagpipes from Baghdad

[Outro]

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