[Spoken]

First off, uh, shout out to Dan White Derulo

Shout out to anyone from Brunel Uni

And, anyone from Chepstow

My name's Elro

[Section 1]

I'm like an undercover cop, in bed, I'm undercover double

I'm undiscovered in rubble and only trouble is that

I keep staring in space, they call me Hubble

Like a cockney in the bath with a bong, I'm having a bubble

They say I'm blocking, I'm table topping, I'm mocking

I'm mopping the floor for pills and shit, Then I'm dropping

Un-metaphorically though, I'm like a boffin, I'm boffing

Shit the thought of a fag got me coughin', now I'm in a coffin

Underlyin', I'm lying, I'm lying under my bed

I'm lying under the guillotine while they're giving me head

I'm like chlamydia butter, coz I'm easily spread

I'm like a kid named Ed, coz my eyes are red

Tryin' to have a quick session, I'm messin'

Don't have a session when your mum's in the house, learned my lesson

Back to subject, I burn the bestin

If you want a toke on my spliff, need investment

I want to kick it with Rik Waller, and let him lick the

Sauce off a virgin's legs, I'm cherry lickin'

I'm sicker than playing cricket with real stumps as wickets

I'm in love with a mouse named Minnie, but I'll take the Mickey

A couple of people told me my shit was offensive

So I stabbed them and put their heads on my fences

I told them understand a joke is a joke

And if they weren't so dense, then maybe I wouldn't get so defensive

I'm like a new born child, coz I'm a big tit sucker

Like a man named Freud coz I'm a clever motherfucker

This is the warm-up for SB TV

If you want to see more just search me...

[Section 2]

Coz I'm a chilled out drunk when I drink right

And I'm aware of the fact my body ain't built for the fight night

But it gives me the chance to relax and forget the fact I'm tall and white

But a bottle of vodka neat later

I keep drinking that ego inflator

I start thinking I'm Brad Pitt

Only less chiseled and more tragic

I start texting my ex's

I'm lying, I wish I had ex's

I'm texting girls that I wanna to have sex with

It's 3am and I won't stop pesting:

Hey you, it's three in the morning, I'm thinking about you

Only reason I'm drinking is about you

So come here and have sex with me

Please I'm begging you!

No text back now I'm cringing

Wondering why I keep whinging

Coz a day goes by and I don't look back

And I'm gonna go back to the binging

It's a strange thing, but I've just started fingering

Got a smell on my finger's that lingering

Sick of small talk girls just mingling'

Just give me the sex, my cocks tingling

Anyway, back the girl them serious

Come round girls, chill with a beer with us

We got condoms, lubricant here with us

Watch Black Hawk Down, cry tears with us

We got a big TV with a HD input, wild life documentary

Serious, here with us

Watching a meerkat move on a HD screen is mysterious

Wait, now my phone's vibrating

I got a text from that girl I was dating

Well, when I say dating

I mean, looking on her Facebook and masturbating

Went to Tesco to buy some chicken

Found a girl so I stuck my dick in

Ended up in the back fruit aisle

The cops turned up, I said I'm just cherry picking

Got head on plane after take-off, found a girl

So I got her to take off, all her clothes, then she said shown up!

I'm a terrorist, either way I'm getting blown up

Coz my head's fucked up off of Ritalin, my diet consisted of vodka and vitamins

Some people think I'm mad coz I'm giggling

But given the chance I'd choose head over Ketamine

Listen, we're approaching age when

Doesn't matter whether your black or Asian

Doesn't matter whether your flow's amazing

If you're a white kid from wales, you feel caged in

That's the reason the Facebook kids, so I can look at all the fit girl's tits

Have a little click through their holiday pics

You might think that I sound quite sick...

Screwed up from a couple drugs like the crack

I'll be back with a back pack strapped to my back

Fulla vitamins, Niacin, Biotin, dealing the pills but like vitamin C and things

Coz I'm middle class junkie

I got a mate looks just like a monkey

Might sound like an arbitrary rhyme but

It doesn't bother me, I'm just part time

People telling me my bars just random, 2 goats on a bike, that's random, tandem

Put em on a sunbed, randomly tan them, then you've seen randem, mandem

I wanna kick it with the richest bitches

I'll get them drunk and take pictures, which is

A bit creepy I know, but I'll risk it, I've flicked more beans than a spark has switches

Girls go for the gangster's right like, drive-bys in the middle of the night

So I tried one and then I got hit by a fright, Boris Johnson had cost me 6.99!

That's a lot for congestion, so as a gangster I asked him a question

Wrote him a letter with a couple of suggestions

Privatize all the public sections

"Dear Boris I am writing

(Well I'm on a PC so I'm actually typing)

And as a gangster I'm hyping

About 6.99 for a lap in a drive by

These fees you're creating and making are taking the piss and my heads aching, I'm stating

I got a hard time with the dating

And I get less gash than a monk in Beijing"

[Spoken]

My Name's Elro, just give me a search: Elro Raps