Disassociate - Intellectual

[Verse 1]

You said that you would be here by my side and I believed it

Told you if you leave that I'll be fine, like I don't need it

Built a life without you then you left it all in pieces

Now it's getting hard to do the normal things like sleep and eat

And even though I got a heart

It's barely beating in my chest

Never trade it for a moment back before we even met

And tell myself with what I'm knowin' now

I should've never let you be a crutch for all the trauma manufactured in my head

And I'm back home now but I been gone for three weeks

I don't even talk to the ones I like

Got a voice in my head just a bit too high

Tellin' me you'll never get shit right

It's like if the pressure gettin' too much to take

I disassociate

Lookin' at the actions I make is just a roller blade

Tryna be a person you want but I can't hold away

Karma smiled right at my face and let you hold the blade

[Chorus]

And you pulled me under

I can feel you in me

Do you ever wonder if I drowned?

Lookin' in the storm but there's not enough to find

Yeah I broke a heart, does it hurt when you die?

Hard to move ahead when you're stuck in your eyes

Keep on looking beyond, beyond, beyond

But everybody's gone and there's nothin' left to say

You could be the last in my line of mistakes

Tell me if we did what we said we would change

What would life be like, be like, be like, be like, be like?

What would life be like?

What would like be like?

[Verse 2]

You said that you would be here by my side and I believed it

Told you if you leave then I'll be fine, like I don't need ya

Try to prove it right but you just left me all in pieces

Now it's gettin' hard to do the normal shit like even breathin'

Even though I got a heart

It's barely beatin' in my chest

I don't think you even gave a chance to see my best

When you don't know yourself

You find it's normal feelin' less

And that's a narrative you built to find the comfort in the stress

What I hope to be

Therapist and friends tryna open me

Look at me unhappy, like it's something that I chose to be

Counted on a fairytale story they all sold to me

Took me finally being alone to say–

That I can't count on anyone that I love and you act proud

That's the way that you know, in the background

And I trust you again, I'mma back down

Left a hole in my chest, yeah