Solace - Intellectual

Many dreadful thoughts, I hope I hide them well

Eerie mental spaces, that I've been keeping to myself

Horrid ways to cope, only thing that's swell

Fighting off my urges, falling out of my shell

Mental fortitude of steel, heart will start to kneel

Learning brand new words, as I'm learning how I feel

Teeth feel like they're rotting, brain in need of a peel

How will I continue when I feel like nothings real

Looking at my hands, still don't think they're mine

I'm a different me, I feel this all the time

Everywhere I go, it feels like there's a sign

It says, "Sit and Stare, watch him crack and shine!"

I can't pace myself, I can never win

In a brand new hell, freed by all of my kin

I won't show and tell, you would never hear the end

Smiling everyday, while my thoughts start to descend