Intro

My aunt told me she'd call me the moment she won the lottery

I told myself I'd call her when my daily probs dont bother me

But now I'm think honestly that that day will probably

Never come around so lately I've been on that pottery

That green got my mind open but lately when I be smoking

My mind been filled with thoughts I keep boxed up and I know it's

Closer to my moment, and lately I've been hoping

That my stress will bring some blessings to the ones that I keep closest

I'm just trying to stay focused, listening to Otis

Wondering what kind of songs that he had floating

Up in his mind when his plane fell out the sky

I wonder when he died if he sang the pain inside

See me I'm trying to let it out before the day my death amounts

It hits me deep and I just want to let it out

Sometimes I wanna scream and shout

But nothing seems to come out

I only see my family when someone joins or leaves it

Thought we'd be together forever I thought these bonds were cement

My poppa's gotta problem and my momma's got some secrets

She's been fueling up on demons I've been close enough to see it

I turned my back to her, it's probably not the wisest choice

I should tell her how I feel but I can never seem to find the voice

Used to help her find these pills thinking bout that gives me chills

Thinking bout it makes it real so those the thoughts I keep concealed

Feelin pistol to the dome as I sit at home alone

Scrollin through my phone seeing names I barely know

I've been distant for a minute like I'm living on the road

Left for some years to find myself didn't find much out there tho

So I'm still searching, still hurting

I ain't perfect that much I am certain

I'm just tryna show before they pull the curtains

Feeling like my life is cursed excuse my curses

Outro