[Verse 1]

This is your time

This is your day

You've waited and wondered

You've pondered and planned

Where will you stay? What would they say?

How will you get there? Where will you go?

What will they give you?

How many friends will show?

(It better be everybody)

So

[Chorus]

Happy birthday, here's to ya

Happy birthday everyone

Buy 'em a beer, give 'em a cheer

Some love and affection

A gift card, a cake and a hug

[Verse 2]

What self-respecting adult

Makes a big deal of their birthday? (Me)

It's time to simmer down and stop acting like you're ten (Excuse me?)

But we know you're a really big deal so let's get it out of the way

For you and nearly two million other important people born today

[Chorus]

Happy birthday, here's to ya

We know all about it 'cause you told everyone (Everyone)

It's attention that you seek

It's a birthday, not a week

You're a wicked sick, sad, selfish son of a gun

[Verse 3]

Throw yourself a big old party (Yeah)

Rent yourself a big old hall

Send out invitations to your shitty birthday ball

Stop posting pictures and videos

You think you're so cinematic (I am)

Blow out those freaking candles and get over it

Don't be so dramatic

[Chorus]

Happy birthday, here's to ya

Happy birthday everyone

No more beers, no more cheers

No more love and affection

No gift cards, no cakes and no hugs

Happy birthday, here's to ya

We know all about it 'cause you told everyone (Everyone)

It's attention that you seek

It's a birthday, not a week

You're a wicked sick, sad, selfish son of a gun

You're a wicked sick, sad, selfish son of a gun

[Outro]

Guys, get together for a picture

Come on, everybody (Boo)

We need a picture (God, will this broad get over it?)

Come on

Why is nobody listening to me? (Jesus Christ, I've had it up to here)

Get together for a picture

Here, you hold the camera

Midnight

Wrap it up please

Smile

It's not your day anymore

Okay