[Verse 1]

Bedtime is bogus

But your brain's precocious

So before you board your snooze cruise

I come bearing bad news

Your parents are clueless

Unfit to raise you kids

You need someone to look up to

Someone who will tell you to

Do your chores and buy new glasses

Take out loans for cool kid classes

Hurry up before life flashes

Make them auction off your ashes

Life is cruel at cool school

But you’ll be fine if you live your life like mine

[Chorus]

Dear great auncluе, I wish I was as great as you

I know I'm bowling at the alley bеside you

But I only have ten pins to say goodnight to

My bile grew into a vile, bile brew

I've made a Mrs. Mark Max Maddy of myself

God, I bet you think I’m such a worthless worm

[Verse 2]

I studied up

The grow up bus said, "Eat my dust"

But all that I had done is filled my cranium with tape and gum

I'm a failed experiment

An introspective arrogance

Won't save me from embarrassment

Of paling in comparison

I just had a big breakthrough

I'll take old used you and make me brand new

So shut your mouth, listen up when I talk

I'm a no good thief and I'll rip you off

Just you watch, I'll be good for something for once in my life

Dear you-know-who

It's been years since I’ve seen you

I think a visit’s overdue

I've got breaking news for you

[Chorus]

Dear great aunclue

I’ve become much greater than you

I can't believe I used to bowl right beside you

Now you sit and cry about just how fast your life flew

Bye-bye, toodeloo

To the big fraud I thought I knew

You've made a Mrs. Mark Max Maddy of yourself

I always knew you were just a worthless worm

[Bridge]

Is this trepidation or is this regret?

I remember admiration, but for who? I forget

I am in control

You won't swallow me whole

[Verse 3]

No more vertebrae, only scrunch

The birds of prey of yesterday will all be someone’s lunch

Bird days are gone, it won't be long before

An omnivore is soaring over and decides it wants a worm lunch