Lately I been up for days, barely even blinking

Rolling blunts and pouring cups to keep myself from thinking

In the mist of all this pressure, I be sinking

Niggas trynna fuck in the industry, they be winking

And I'm just a girl

19, with dreams of being on the big screen

Blue jeans, Jordan's, kind of cute but still can spit mean

Gas bill getting high, so fuck it, I'mma bring the heat

I'm trynna eat and it ain't sweet until I'm checking into suites

I doubled back and made it happen

Started writing poetry and now I'm noticed off of this rapping

Making music for niggas in Chicago that be trapping

But still can switch it up, for all the poets that be snapping

They told me that I'm blowing up, I'm trynna get bigger

Feel good to be played by radios, and not these niggas

A lot of people told I wouldn't make it, how you figure?

Then I realized, they want what I got, or they just bitter

Lame niggas

I never cared about my fate, because I know I got what it takes

So I'm in difference to the hate

I got to many hopes at stake

But, still I'm drowning

I feel myself surrounded

By doctors and machines, my blood rushing, head pounding

They say women don't make it, unless they on they knees

So I got down, on my knees, started praying, God please

Not religious, but I want it bad

So I be praying boy

Niggas tryna play me like a game, but I ain't playing boy

Mama barely cared for the crib

Was never this hard when I was laying in the crib

As a baby, who would think I would make it this far

But I be damned if I made it here, and don't go another yard

Shit is getting hard

I want it all, fuck a deal, if they ain't talking right

Been running my city for so long that I ain't walking right

I'm from CHICAGO

The city people die for

But, they ain't talking, they just shooting at they rivals

My grandma died in her sleep, next to a bible

I'm starting to feel like my life is just a recital

Niggas faking

So I be writing until my fingers aching

I'd stop breathing before I even think that I ain't gone make it

And everybody out here thinking everybody sleeping on em

I set alarms, and it's creeping on em

I had a fucked up life, I'm breaking down

So whenever I get me a swisher, I'm breaking down

And whenever I get me a bottle, I'm pouring up

Thoughts racing and I'm stuck

Soon enough, I'm slowing up

Then I get to throwing up

All the pain I was feeling

All the tears I was shedding when the obstacles was given

All the niggas on my side, that told me they would ride but they lied

Now I'm in the building and they outside

So, in the future when they see me in that beamer

Just know I wasn't shit, I turned myself into a dreamer

Part 2