[Spoken: Briggs]

Family! Friends!

We are here today to commend the body of James R. Recard to the Earth

Known as "Jimmy" to his friends

The king of the bar, with a liver infection

Victim to the many bras thrown at his fee

He is but a man, and into temptation he went

Had his name been Paul, may he had a better chance

Lord, into your wide open arms we send James