Last night down by the old town

I walked through harbour lane

When a monkey and this gorgeous blonde

Stepped up and called my name

We have something to show you

So good you can’t deny

Authentic scottish ghosties

Imported from Shanghai

I bought these scary monsters

The extra special kind

Invisible to simple folks

But not the masterminds

Though if you look and nothing’s there

Relax and trust my eyes

You think it’s just a door or chair

It’s them in there disguise

Chorus:

Extra extra

Scottish ghost for sale

Scottish ghost for sale

Turn your parents pale

Extra extra

Scottish ghost for sale

A perfect gift for you and all your friends

It seem I have a problem

I haven’t sold a ghost

They laugh and say I’m crazy

Though I give them tea and toast

I called my cousin Lee MacDong

And sold the goods to him

A wizard millionaire from Flong

Whose eyes are rather dim

Chorus*3