I could never understand what's my purpose in life

And I'm not buying for a second that I'm worth the insight

In light of all the information, I've been hurting inside

And I dunno if I can serve if all my verses are lies, I'm tired

I lie about all of the smallest of things

It's pathologic and I'm talking to the wall as I think

If Mom could buy it for a second, I'll be off in a blink

Maybe Miami, I think I'd pull it off as a shrink

And deep, deep-down that's a problem for me

I never think about the options that are offered for free

And every college that I've thought about or got up to see

Was either too fucking expensive, or it's ROTC

When I was young, I never knew what I had wanted to be

I felt like I'm the only kid that hadn't started to leap

It's like I'm playing Frogger and I'm hopping the street

And just when you think I'm on a log

You see me flop in the creek

And it's about damn time that I'm honest with you

All of these songs that I've been writing are a product of youth

I'm multiplying what I know with what I thought to be true

And I'm implying that I've grown to make it harder to lose

I am an artist, not a part of all these cardigan groups

If Mr. Rogers taught me anything, tomorrow's a new

And pardon me if I've been begging, but your car isn't used

I've been a burden cause I'm hurting and my heart is a fuse that's burning

And it's been curled around my neck in a noose

Since suicide isn't an option, I'll just rest on the stool

If you and I can get along, I'll be a less of a fool

And do or die isn't an option when you're stressing the truth

I'm done, can't even say if it's been futile for me

Cause everyday I tell myself I want a music degree

Cause I don't wanna keep the pay that I am used to be reaping

Minimum wage isn't the way that I will choose to be seen

So ladies, I spit my game like I am majorly weak

My last relationship was painful if I'm saying the least

And I don't blame her, I was lame, and I'd be waiting for weeks

Before I'd say a single word, like I was taking a leave

And at the age of eighteen, I'd like to lay it to rest

I felt depressed and said some things I thought conveyed it the best

As many times as I am sorry, you won't taste the regret

That I've been facing since the day that all that anger was sent

It's been about a half a decade since you named me your ex

And I am proud that I can say that I have changed for the best

I'm feeling better by the day, I'm not in vain or depressed

Just need a second to collect it all and take it in steps

Just laid a friend to rest after I paid my respects

Death has put me in a daze, I think the pain hasn't set

I get away on rainy days to put my anger to bed

When it awakes, I take some paper and my cranium vents

It saves me, and I've been pacing like I usually do

What do you say back to a brain that isn't used to the truth?

And I'm ashamed to know the names of those I threw for the loop

That is an omen, just know it's not a beautiful view

And so, this is me opening my heart in the booth

Who would've known I'd be as lonesome as that parted caboose

My train of thought is off the rails and hasn’t started to move

That's been partly due to trailing when I'm talking to you

So fuck it, I've been keeping it in from day one

There ain't no fun in making music when your label is un-supportive

Even Jordan, only one who's important

Either's ignoring my lyrics

Or he's just pissed I'm putting more into my music

Cause who's the kid who told me to record it?

From spittin' back and forth to putting vids up in the morning?

At this point, it's more than just a door I haven't chosen

The world had open arms and now society is closing on me

Only have about a year to be settled

Guess it's apparent I don't care about my future endeavors

Better to plan ahead and never get what expected?

I fell In love with confessing all of my stress to the pencil

I'm fucking up - all the papers in the courses I cheat

I'm fucking up - all the days that in the mornings I dream

I'm fucking up - all relationships important to me

I'm fucking up my life

I start to think that my reflection is depressing

Been trying to send a message to the man in that dimension

Begin to fear the mirror when it appears inside a restroom

Tears cause it to smear and then he sneers when I upset him

If heaven, is anything like what they tell me it is

I fell for the tricks and get to see what hell really is

It helps me to sit and think about the wealthiest kids

And tell myself not to sell out and let the selfishness win

Fella, carry umbrellas on the sunniest days, there's a cloud that follows round and it's been up in my space

I get the rain in sudden waves, I give a fuck what you say

I promise that I'll be the bombest when I'm up to the plate, so

Thank you all for being patient with me

If I delayed this any longer I'd be craving to breath

And If my conscience has a say, then I'll be waving a peace

But I ain't talking 'bout the pistol partner, c'est la vie