I've been running, I'm running

I'm wondering how you heal

I've been wrong so many times I don't trust the way that I feel

I don't wanna keep the habits from attitudes that I thought I've outgrown

I've been struggling opening up and it's making me mean

I don't know if I'm true to myself or afraid to be seen

Every time I try to figure it out it feels like everything explodes

Wanna give up but shit I'm only mid twenties

And I know it ain't funny

But I know I got something for me

Waiting in another moment

Only getting older

Never thought I'd make it this far

And if I'm struggling when I'm only mid thirties

I know nothing ain't certain

Ima take all of the hurting

Ima grow into another pеrson

Only getting older

Nevеr too late to know who you are

Am I guarded cause I'm healing or guarded cause I'm afraid

I hide parts of myself in relationships just to feel safe

I don't know why I think bad things'll happen if somebody gets too close

Why does being vulnerable always feel like losing control

I equated being low maintenance with lovable

How do I let someone see me without feeling ashamed or exposed

Is my independence authentic or is it another trauma response

Am I choosing familiar over things that I want

What does love feel like when you're not bracing for impact

Broken hearted soul with anxiety in me intact

Do I believe I'm lovable or only when I'm useful

Bottle of rose the only time I'm being truthful

I don't think I wanted your love, I think I wanted to be chosen

Wanna give up but shit I'm only mid twenties

And I know it ain't funny

But I know I got something for me

Waiting in another moment

Only getting older

Never thought I'd make it this far

And if I'm struggling when I'm only mid thirties

I know nothing ain't certain

Ima take all of the hurting

Ima grow into another person

Only getting older

Never too late to know who you are

I'm running, I'm running, I'm running

I'm running away

I don't know how to deal with the things that I feel everyday

I don't wanna be with someone else but I don't wanna be alone

If I'm still in my twenties and acting a funnier way

I don't know how to deal with the feeling of being replaced

I don't wanna be with someone else but I can't be on my own