[Peter Parker (Devo Spice)]

Aw yeah, that's my jam, I mean literally my jam

Try and keep up because you gotta know who I am

Peter Parker, with Mary Jane beside her man

I am the one-and-only Spider-Man

I climb walls, shoot webs, great strength and agility

And with great power comes blah blah blah

My ability to cling to walls and then swing

Means I'm shootin' out webs like silly string

I got a theme song, t-shirt, cartoon, and toys

And a breakfast cereal that nobody enjoys

And a third nipple, at least according to my wiki

Don't mind fighting crime but my hands are always sticky

So Kingpin lost his whole family what a pity

But the thing he built could destroy the whole city

Hate to be a party pooper but we gotta stop the threat

Take this goober, and I'm dead

[Miles Morales (Creative Mind Frame (AKA 1-UP))]

When I'm done you'll wanna cop this... put em up

Miles morales here (heh) that's what's up

Young kid but a brainiac a maniac

For anything my uncle would do, but he's a shady cat

And that's another act back to my story line

I packed no punches and that's being blunt kid

Itty bitty spider bite that's what made it story time

That's so nuts now I lack no function

You're telling me that I'm a new Spider-Man

Gone from no skills to doing anything a fighter can

First the multiverse gets shattered... broken jars

Now a bunch a spideys slinging round... broken arms

Don't doubt me cas I'm never giving up

Steph Curry on a dunk sometimes I'm trippin up

Steady on my grind enemies I'm rippin up

No spoilers here so that's enough

[Peter B. Parker (Insane Ian)]

Hi I'm Pete, It's sure nice to meet ya

I fight supervillains (when I'm not eating pizza)

I'm just like that last guy, tho my hair is much darker

My driver's license says my name's Peter B. Parker

Tho starker in contrast, we're really quite alike

My guts a little larger but of the two, well, I'm alive

But if a girl gets kidnapped and she's thrown inside a van

Well I'm another friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!

Thought I was alone (not just cause MJ left me)

Struggled through a portal (cause I might be kinda hefty)

Landed in this city, met this little kiddie

He was bitten by a spider like the one that went and bit me

Now I'm a mentor, teach this kid the ropes

On how to be a hero and to give people hope

Responsibility & Power, and before you have to ask

Always wash your suit and never sneeze inside the mask

[Gwen Stacy (Bonnie Gordon)]

Hey guys, it's Gwen, and I have been

Living as the one and only Spider-Woman

Bit by a spider and I might've got here first

And I'm from another, another universe

I don't do friends, got two or three styles

And I'm not helping you through puberty, Miles

You were a big help and I'm glad you were there but

No, you don't get to like my haircut

I've been protecting my version of New York

Without ever expecting any help for the work

Now lots of spider people are infesting these nights

Of all of you I look best in these tights

But still, it's nice that support has appeared

'Cause this whole experience has been royally weird

But if I'm not mistaken, there's more for us to see

And do I smell bacon? [Spider-Ham (TV's Kyle)]: That would be me

[Spider-Ham (TV's Kyle)]

You're not hallucinatin', Gwen, you know who I am!

I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Ham

Where's Ducktor Doom? I'll give him a tackle!

And then I'll take a selfie for J. Jonah Jackal

Got a hospital and a horse got loose?

Call Peter Porker. I'll Chuck Jones his caboose!

I'll frolic and I'll dance and I'll do this with my pants

And I'll whack him on the snoot! Man, he'll never stand a chance

I got a big hammer and you know I'm gonna club ya

My Marvel Tails will make you go "What The?!"

Kingpin and Liv, man, who the heck is that?

Reminds me of KingPig and Dr Octopussycat

I've heard folks have been shipping me and Noir

Just pray Mary Jane Waterbuffalo don't know who you are

In Gwen's subconscious, you could say that I steered her

Does that sound weird? It CAN get weirder

[Peni Parker (LEX the Lexicon Artist)]

This is my spider, I'm Peni P, we are

A dynamic duo, call me SP//dr

I might be kawaii but that don't mean that I'm weak

Because I pack a streak of genius in my teeny physique

See I pilot this machine with my psychic connection

We scale the highest ceilings like the guys in Inception

Protecting New York City from malevolent creatures

And we're messing with their systems like professional griefers

My father left to join the Black Parade

Now it's up to me to carry on the masquerade

I have to say, my mech suit is better than Tony's

It can send you to your death with twenty seven emojis, homie

So don't be stunting cause I'm small and I'm cute

I crawl in the suit, all of a sudden I'm taller than you

That's all that I do, a supercomputer not a shooter of webs

Here from the future to save you losers or you would be dead

[Spider-Man Noir (the great Luke Ski)]

The wind follows me, it smells like rain

SURPRIZE ATTACK! You mugs will feel my pain

Uncle Benjamin was eaten by Vulture. So gory

But it makes a good hard-core origin story

I'm Spider-Noir, the color thing is new to me

Unlike egg creams and moral ambiguity

Wrong or right? I don't know what to say!

Am I black or white, or 50 shades of grey?

You wanna dance in a biscuit box session?

I'll crash you harder than the Great Depression!

I'm trying a fedora. Future fashion is wild

But punching a Nazi is never out of style

Just like 6 bullets in a snub .45

We're Web Warriors, takin' nobody's jive

Out of all of the fellas, I cause the most fright

'Cuz I am the terror that THWIPS in the night!

[Spider-Ham (TV's Kyle)]

Is he allowed to say that? Legally?