[Devo Spice]

My homeowner's association sent us a letter

To say they had a way of makin Halloween better

And safer and more fun for everyone involved

And completely non-offensive, it makes sense, problem solved

I didn't know there was a problem, but okay

And this probably won't affect my plans in any way

So let's see what they say, I read a little more

And saw my kids could only trick or treat from three o'clock to four

Decoration limit, two pumpkins per yard

And knives are dangerous, so they can't be carved

And no devils, or anything satanic or morose

And even nothin made of satin cause it sounds too close

To make sure nobody gets offended or upset

We've got some guidelines here for what costumes you can get

No witches, they promote witchcraft, as does

Harry Potter, Bewitched, and The Wizard of Oz

No aliens, monsters, mutants, or cannibals

And werewolves promote cruelty to animals

Vampires might make a kid too scared

And zombies are offensive to the living impaired

No Freddy, no Jason, in fact they can't be

Characters from films they aren't old enough to see

No commercial characters like Spongebob or Superman

And no ghosts, the sheets look too much like the Klan

Figure skaters show way too much skin

And Dora the Explorer's an illegal alien

Okay so how about a duck? Anyone got a problem

With my kid dressin up like a duck? HUH?!!

We can't give out candy cause it makes the kids fat

Just stickers and fruit, and maybe that granola crap

I was stunned - is this really how they want it run?

It's politically correct and not a damn bit of fun

[Interlude]

{*werewolf howling scratched, then silenced*}

I'm sorry we can't allow that sound effect

Because it's too scary and might be upsetting

To some of our younger listeners

{*evil laughter - also silenced*}

No, I'm sorry, the evil laughter

Perpetuates the stereotype of the mad scientist

{*woman screams in horror - also cut off*}

Oh now that's just sexist

Why does the victim always have to be female?

[Devo Spice]

Surprisingly with all the things it said we couldn't do

The letter didn't say a WORD about bags of flaming poo

So guess what I got planned? And I hope they understand

Cause I'm throwing my own party and it WILL get out of hand

No one will be allowed in, unless

They are wearing a costume guaranteed to offend

Maybe something like a walking pair of breast implants

Or a priest with an altar boy hanging from his pants

People showed up and I was very impressed

With my guests and how they decided to dress

There's Jess, she came as a messed up slut

And there's George Lucas with a light saber up his butt

And there's the most evil creature they say

A lawyer for the RIAA

And I dressed up like the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee

What? That little bugger scares the crap out of me~!

{*zombie growling until interrupted*}

Now do you really think a reanimated corpse is suitable for children?

{*an owl hoots for a little bit*}

Okay that's better, but can you try something a little friendlier?

{*puppies barking*}

Yes, that's perfect! Now you've got it!

[Outro]

Did you guys see Devo Spice's party?

Yeah, it was awesome! I went as a sodomi...

It was disgraceful, and completely against the rules

Err-uh yeah, it was uhh, awful

Next year we're gonna have to just ban Halloween for good

And go right to Christma... er, Channuk... Kwan.. uh...

You know, THAT time of year

Hmm, that sounds like a good idea - but how do we do it?

Simple - we allow the residents to hang up their Holiday decorations

At the beginning of October...

Okay moving on

Unit number 47's front door is off-white, not white

This is against the rules!

I vote we find them $500 per day until they get it replaced

All in favor?

AYE!!

Great - now the tree in front of unit 23 started changing colors

Four days before the rest of the trees in the neighborhood

This flagrant disregard for the rules can not go unpunished

I move that we make them tear it down and replace it with another tree

That is on the proper fall foliage schedule - all in favor?

AYE!