(chorus)

. . . Big bad wolf!

. . Baaad wolf (4x)

Where have you been, young man? You get over here!

I've been worried sick while you've been off God-knows-where

In some distant time enjoying alien views

Oh you've been fighting a time war? A likely excuse!

I've been stuck here, you know, where time goes straight

And while I've had to wait, let me tell you things weren't great

There was nothing on TV but that may be no surprise

So I had to watch dreck like Star Trek Enterprise

The void you left behind was annoying and substantial

There wasn't a show FOX couldn't wait to cancel

And no more music videos on MTV

I tell you man, the Golf Channel ain't tempting me

I blame you, if you didn't leave me

I never would have had to battle with reality TV

Instead we all had to hear William Hung sing

And somehow thanks to you now Snookie is a thing

(chorus)

I see that you still can't quite control it right

Returning Rose a full year after a twelve hour flight

If you can't return a guest to her time at her behest

For her sake maybe you should go retake your driving test

You always did want to grab the TARDIS by the reigns

And control it like a child with a pair of great danes

And it caused you great pains, threw you all over creation

That won't exactly make for an ideal vacation

So what's the story? You're the last of your kind?

The daleks are gone, the Time Lords are confined

In a time-locked war out of the main time-stream?

One question, what does that even mean?

I deserve a better explanation than that

I defended the show from never-ending attacks

After nine hundred years it should be me you are thanking

Remember you are not too old for a spanking

(chorus)

You didn't call, you didn't write during all that time

I didn't know if you were dead or had become a street mime

Not knowing what was going on really was the hardest

But I see you had time to remodel the TARDIS

All we got was a crappy movie from FOX

A half-hearted attempt for our two-hearted Docs

It was nothing like the stories that have been so glorious

From here to Raxacoricofallapatorius

During that time we couldn't find any mentions

There was almost nothing Doctor Who related at conventions

But fans would still gather rather than let it die

And pour a forty on the curb for episodes gone by

But now the Who Fans Anonymous meeting can ajourn

He says "Run!"- The prodigal son has returned

And the fans can hardly wait to see the Daleks to attack

I can't tell you how great it feels to have you back

(chorus x2)