Stopped

I often find myself in the brisk feeling of remorse

Wondering if I’m the only one guilty enough to feel this

Genuinely questioning my sanity as I stare at the ceiling I’m losing it or maybe I was lost to begin with

Not really sure who I am anymore

The only thing I really know is these thoughts I can’t ignore

Benign beings blissfully sleeping breathing nevermore after complaining about the sunrise

I don’t know what I’d even do if I felt alive

Maybe slip back into the mindset I keep trying to disguise

I'm sick of every single bad decision that I make

It’s like I know the mirror is dirty yet I divulge

In the disgusting taste

Wondering what It'd be like to just stare at your eyes

An emptiness

But yet emotional

The thought remains a prize

Something I hold dear to me

The ground shakes when I walk

But only because I lose my breath and I’m never able to hear myself talk

Hearing it over and over again

Seeing older versions of myself

Do people really think that we grow up to be the future

Or is it all forgotten hope

I don’t think I know

For once I’d like to be able to feel my skin

And not be reminded that I sin

For once I’d like to be awake

And not remind myself that I yearn for the death I embrace

Jump back into the lake

Let’s drown together

Call it chance

Hold my hand

I promise this is all part of the plan

To die together look me in the eyes and think of something better

You’re my best friend

I love you to death

I know it doesn’t seem like it

But the only reason I’m like this

Is because my mind won’t ever let me forget