Hi my name is chef Mike Neylan

I'm a personal chef (chef chef chef chef chef chef)

9/11

A couple of planes flew into some towers

And Regina Schrambling's Maple Shortbread Bars were fucking shit

I decided I had enough of it

Took some jet fuel and mixed it up

With some rebar and concrete and fucked up stuff

And my bars tasted like a million bucks

So here's the recipe don't fuck it up

Personal chef I cook for myself

No personal chef I cook for myself

I'm a personal chef I cook for myself

Fuck a personal chef I cook for myself

Shredded Parmesan

Shredded Provolone

Shredded Mozzarella and Asiago

Shredded Cheddar

Shredded Monterey Jack

Mix your mouthwash with your fuckin Jack

Shredded Basel

Shredded Tomato

Shredded Flour and Yeast and H2O

Set yo oven to 469 degrees

Don't call me daddy call me Papa Murphy

Personal chef I cook for myself

No personal chef I cook for myself

I'm a personal chef I cook for myself

Fuck a personal chef I cook for myself

Cut my life into pieces

Just like I cut this pizza

Into ten equal slices

I feel the slice betray me!

I tried so hard and got so far

This is my last resort (This is my last resort)

Personal chef I cook for myself

Personal chef I cook for myself

Personal chef I cook for myself

I'm a personal chef

Personal chef I cook for myself

No personal chef I cook for myself

I'm a personal chef I cook for myself

Fuck a personal chef I cook for myself

Personal chef I cook for myself

No personal chef I cook for myself

I'm a personal chef I cook for myself

Fuck a personal chef I cook for myself

(Today I'm gonna show you how to properly cut a pizza into ten slices

The trick is after you make the first initial slice through

Then you're going to go at a 36 degree angle to make the next cut

36 degrees again

And then 36 degrees again

And that is how you properly cut a pizza into ten slices)