Aquarium - Intellectual

[Intro: voice sample]

They callin’ me man

I just gotta talk to ‘em

I need help

[Verse 1]

The bridge over troubled waters collapse submerged

Locked in my room, fightin’ to hold back the urge

To relapse, too full of pride to cry for help

Playin’ solitaire with the cards that I been dealt

Just relax, yo get through this

Crack a twenty-two and take a few sips

Dwelling on past regrets is useless

See usually the way I deal with addiction

Is callin’ up the street pharmacist to fill the prescription

Tossin’ and turnin’, cursin’ the monster I’ve become

I can hear ‘em talkin’ now man I never seen this side of him

Insomniac used to this side of the risin’ sun

Can’t seem to pinpoint exactly what it is I’m hidin’ from

Slip into the pitfall, I set the trap myself

Then get my current girlfriend to nurse me back to health

There’s no end to this, the cycle repeats

No rest, too afraid of dyin’ in my sleep

No relief from the pain unless I kill it with pills

No release from the clutches of addiction it’s real

Just a lost child searchin’ in vain for peace of mind

If I die before I wake man what will I leave behind?

[Chorus]

If I die before I wake man what will I leave behind?

[Verse 2]

The hedonistic lifestyle that we’ve depicted

Pleasure seekers do whatever to feed the sickness

And led to the demise of the aesthetic inside

Credit the high, pathetic shoulda let it survive

Wonder where I’d be now if I’d have kept it alive

Instead accepted the lies it fed embedded in my head

I’m dead to it all, I’m at the point where I feel

Like savin’ the world is just a juvenile ideal

This is the first time I’ve written in two months

Confused [?] skrill for a few fronts

Fucked a few girls in that time, almost flatlined

Self worth and moral value at a decline

I’m falling deeper

Bottom feeder scrappin’ the barrel

A perilious ride of habits that I carefully hide

I’m fallin’ deeper

Soul creature turned savage beast

Used to be the dream chaser envisionin’ the masterpiece

Hunger decreased, true substance over sustenance

My alter ego’s quick to rush to my defense

The lost child searchin’ in vain for peace of mind

If I die before I wake man what will I leave behind?

[Chorus]

If I die before I wake man what will I leave behind?

[Verse 3]

I’m a slave to vice

[?] swallow smoke or snort ‘em

Dabbled in drugs since my youth just to cope with boredom

So what’s the deal my man?

Deal the hand, enough to kill a man

Copped an eighty milligram that got me feelin’ grand

Crush the pill then roll up another dolla dolla bill y’all

Would be a franklin but I spent all my skrill y’all

Up in the dungeon again, now how I’m gonna win

Devil on my shoulder gettin’ under my skin

Whisperin’ temptations, fruit from the true of knowledge

Mourn over the loss of a childhood dream of findin’ the key to all this

Sweatin’ bullets all restless and agitated

Obsessin’ over it, aggressive tendency activated

I’m the lumox, sick to my stomach, punished by the gods

You can’t escape the beast once you’re inside of his jaws

I gotta find a way out of this mess

Find another way to unwind, I’m wastin’ my time

You are my sunshine, sad but true

I haven’t seen a glimpse of light for the past three days but I’m not mad at you

I had to bounce before I got too attached to you

See I’m no different from the fiends on the avenue