Nothing New - Intellectual

[Verse 1]

I hate every day that I have to wake up, that’s no exaggeration

Can’t picture a happy life with no imagination

I’ve been diagnosed motherfucking happy pills and I’m not happy still

Every second’s just a nasty drill

Where I have to fake wanting my heart to beat

My blood to pump, my lungs to work

Get sucker punched when it’s hard to breath, I

Don’t know if there’s a difference between not wanting to be awake

And not wanting to be alive, but I’ve got both in my mind

Sometimes I hope it’s my time

Living every day in utter, sheer fucking miserable agony

But the thing is, I can’t escape this shit

It is me

Don’t ask why my face is limp

I don’t even know, I can’t even tell you

Do you know how excruciating that is? Fuck

Stranger to my brothers, mother, father

Lot of other people who wanna help

But they’re the only reason I haven’t checked myself into hell

Because, because, oh god, because

I can’t leave my little brother on his own

Can’t stomach leaving *censored* all alone

Can’t fathom the thought of my parents having to watch

Their son’s dead body just descend into a hole

Life to me is locking myself inside my room all alone

Even when I know nobody else is even home

I don’t even believe in god, but I pray they put me in the dirt

Life’s a fucking wageless job, it’s endless work

Major depressive disorder is my shit, pathetic curse

Let me sleep forever deep beneath the earth

Life’s a fucking wageless job, it’s endless work

Please, I beg you, please, please, just end the hurt

Fuck