Dialed Out - Intellectual

[Verse 1]

So used to fighting back tears, I cherish the moment that I put my fists and my guard down

Welcoming visions of death, and chill with regret in intimate large crowds

But, a smile’s just an aberration

An alternate history still impending, waiting

For unrelenting waves of poorly-rendered sameness ‘til it changes

Accessorizing with a vial full of time

Hugging my neck tight, bounces with a thunderous blood pump

Bad sign, but it floats freely in a sea with the scent of thyme

Anchored roughly in place by my sand skin that matches the knot in the twine

Thousands of fears tapdancing all over my spine

Beats my nervous system out of line

‘Cause even the gaze of my loved ones is a huge ass threat

Chest clenched and my face is melting away in a hue past dead red

Losing connection with you for what I don’t say

Cloud below me is stone gray

Fighting through quiet mornings for the whole day

Losing connection with you and running the wrong way

Not welcoming long stays

Fighting through childhood tapes, the way that we talk changed

Records spinning to chiptune sounds of war

Two channels at once distract me from the thought that I can’t take it anymore

Stranded in this bedroom, no doors

And none are welcome, seldom crawling up rungs

Held in the custody of loved ones pelting

Near truths ‘til they set in

Tedious years since I remembered a dream

Breezing through menial tears, meaningless weeks

Wake up excited to go to sleep

Delivering fiery pleas at the gates of unconsciousness

Yet again, rejected, take my self-image out and hollow it

That leaves you with a broken frame of mind

Shattered remnants drenched by glassy eyes

It’s past revival, save your blatant lies, tricks, and patient time