["California Über Alles" Instrumental Introduction]

[Intro: Spoken]

"Hold it!

We've gotta prove we're adults now

We're not a punk rock band, we're a new wave band!"

[Verse 1]

I'm tired of self-respect, I can't afford a car

I wanna be a prefab superstar

I wanna be a tool, don't need no soul

Wanna make big money, playing rock and roll

[Verse 2]

I'll make my music boring, I'll play my music slow

I ain't no artist; I'm a businessman

No ideas of my own

I won't offend or rock the boat

Just sex and drugs and rock and roll

[Bridge]

And here we go

And drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!

Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!

[Verse 3]

You'll pay ten bucks to see me on a fifteen-foot-high stage

Fat-ass bouncers kick the shit out of kids who try to dance

If my friends say I've lost my guts

I'll laugh and say, "That's rock and roll!"

[Pre-Chorus]

But there's just one problem...

[Chorus]

Is my cock big enough

Is my brain small enough

For you to make me a star?

Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul

Pull my strings and I'll go far

Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul

Pull my strings and I'll go far

[Verse 4]

And when I'm rich and meet Bob Hope

We'll shoot some golf and shoot some dope

[Chorus]

Is my cock big enough

Is my brain small enough

For you to make me a star?

Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul

Pull my strings and I'll go far

Guitar!

[Guitar Solo]

[Refrain]

"Everybody, put your hands together!"

Is my cock big enough

Is my brain small enough

For you to make me a star?

"Everybody, sing it one time!"

Is my cock big enough, is my brain small enough

For you to make me a star?

"Shut up and dance, everybody!"

[Chorus]

Is my cock big enough

Is my brain small enough

For you to make me a star?

Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul

Pull my strings and I'll go far

"One more time!"

[Refrain]

Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul

Pull my strings and I'll go far

[Bridge]

And drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!

Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!

[Outro: Spoken]

"Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen

We sure do love you, we'll see you next time

Having a good time playing good and loud rock and roll!"