[Verse 1: Neil Cicierega]

You spend your days bird watching

While petting your sap sucker

And pelican debauching

And goosing some poor clucker

The early bird will get the worm

If worm is just a cutesy term

You're using to describe your sperm, birdfucker

[Chorus: Neil Cicierega]

You fuck birds

There are no words

Except birdfucker

You fuck birds

Cause you're a birdfucker

[Verse 2: Neil Cicierega]

Now when you buy a chicken

You don't want to pluck her

No, you'd rather stick your dick in

You filthy rubber ducker

And in your wettest dream you let

An ostrich and an emu peck your neck and double team you, birdfuckеr

[Verse 3: Neil Cicierega]

You'd get foul with an owl

You'd make sweet love to a turtlе dove

You want to screw a cockatoo

You'd plug your hole with an oriole

The common loon is your favorite poon

You'd love a swan to come upon

You'd bury your meat in a parakeet

You'd fuck an eagle if it weren't illegal

There is no quail you wouldn't nail

There is no stork you wouldn't pork

You'd spill your sauce on an albatross

Let loose your juice on mother goose

[Verse 4: Neil Cicierega]

Oh yes, you're throbbin' for a robin so good

Misbehavin' with a raven and woodpecker peckin' your wood

And the swallow swallows your birdseed

That's what you need to skeet skeet to the tweet tweet

And you're fuckin' a falcon

And your cock’s in a hawk

And you wanna make 'em all go squawk

[Outro: Neil Cicierega]

Cause you're a birdfucker

You fuck birds

You fuck birds

You fuck birds

You fuck birds