I’ll write another letter that I’ll never send

And I’ll spend 30 minutes crying about you in my bed

And I’ll replay all our memories in my head

I’ll tell myself that it’s time to let you go

I try to think of all your flaws and try to hate you a little more

But still, I’ll look at the calendar on the wall

And know that it’s been exactly a month since the last time I was in your car

I didn’t know it then

But that was the last time

You would look at me as more than a friend

I guess things change

And you got someone new

But I’m still killing myself

Slowly

With all these things that I do

I don’t have to care

I don’t have to cry

I don’t have to waste my time missing you

I don’t have to wonder why you left

Or if there’s something I can do

I don’t have to care when I see you

I don’t have to miss you but I do

I'll tell my mom 'bout these feelings I have

And we’ll have a talk and she’ll tell me “it’s not you, it’s him”

And I’ll feel better and believe what she says

Til I'm alone

Til I’m alone

Again

Cause then I’ll remember all the nights that we had

When we would drive going nowhere but it wasn’t bad

You’d let me play with your hair and I would laugh

I never had as much fun as I did all those nights when we were in your car

I didn’t know it then

That you would change your mind

And I would try but couldn’t be your friend

So we won’t talk

And you’ll find someone new

And I’ll keep killing myself slowly with all these things that I do

I don’t have to lie

And say you’re never on my mind

I don’t have to tell myself over and over again that I'm fine

I don’t have to see the stars

And think of how I looked at them with you

I don’t have to miss you but I do

I don’t have to drive by your school

Or talk to your friends

And ask them about you cause I just wanna see how you’re doing

It’s fine

I know you still care deep down

And maybe one day you’ll come back

But I know that won’t be now

Why can’t you come back now

Cause I don’t wanna care

I don’t wanna cry

I don’t wanna waste my time missing you

For once I just wanna feel alright

I don’t wanna see the stars

And think of how I looked at them with you

I don’t wanna need you but I do