I DECIDED

I’M BETTER ALONE

I WANT TO RETURN TO THE SIDES AND

JUST BE ON MY OWN

YEAH I’LL BE FINE

YEAH I’LL BE GOOD

YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE I AM LYING

I AM SO MISUNDERSTOOD

I FEEL LIKE NOBODY REALLY KNOWS ME

MOST DON’T EVEN NOTICE ME

OUTSIDE OF MY CREW

HOW CAN YOU CLAP FOR ME

WHILE I’M OUT ON THE STAGE

BUT SEE ME FACE TO FACE

AND JUST LOOK AWAY?

PEOPLE I SWEAR THEY CANT CHANGE

I SWITCHED SCHOOLS YET THEY ARE THE SAME

NO SERIOUSLY WHAT IS MY NAME?

EXACTLY I’M STILL THAT KID

EXCEPT NOW I AIN’T BAD JUST RAPPING

HEY LOOK IT’S THAT KID

WHY HE BE WALKING ALONE?

ALWAYS GOT ON HEADPHONES

WHY HE ALWAYS LOOK LOST?

HIS TRUE THOUGHTS ARE UNKNOWN

NOT SURE IF I’M SOFT-SPOKEN

OR THEY ARE IGNORING ME

Since I stopped smoking

These thoughts are destroying me

And people I used to call friends are ignoring me

OR AM I AVOIDING THEM

YO DUSEAN’S NOT HIMSELF TODAY

SO PRETEND NOT TO NOTICE HIM

Even strong people can feel weak

SOMETHING REALLY FOLDED HIM

They come try to help me

BUT I WON'T LET THEM IN

HERE I AM AT LUNCH

MUSIC IT FLOWS THROUGH MY DOME

WRITE LYRICS OUT ON PAPER

AND I TYPE THEM OUT ON MY PHONE

AND I READ IT THROUGHOUT MY CLASSES

AND HATE IT BY THE TIME I GET HOME

I’LL WORK THIS OUT BY MYSELF

THE WAY I DO EVERYTHING ELSE

JUST ME AND THIS PENCIL

INSIDE MY 10’’ CELL

Where I am currently located

The eyes are window to the soul

THAT'S WHY I HIDE MINE

THAT KIDS IN THE ZONE

MY HAT IS TILTED REAL LOW

STRIDING REAL SLOW

I’m in the ocean

I LIE HERE AND JUST FLOAT

I CONTINUE TO BACKSTROKE

Lord You’re my last hope

To get back to the lake of peace

Jesus please come and save me

Before these thoughts break me

I beg You to come save me

From myself

And anyone else

That tries to do me harm

I look at that list

I’M ON THE TOP OF IT

I look at the cuts on my arm fresh

Separated my flesh

With a blade

Now look at this mess that I made

I post it on my page

I’m.almost.ok

2000 Followers strong

That's 2000 sources of anonymous love

For a few years this has been going on

How does nobody notice something’s wrong

That's until I write a song

Then they see what was there all along

Emotion I’ve hidden it

The story of

Another eccedentesiast

Knowledge is worth more than diamonds

Right now I feel penniless

I'm broken

WIll I make it through I highly doubt it

So what I cut cry and writeabout it

As the ocean storms I pray a drought hits

These waves are too high and I am drowning

By these bad thoughts I'm surrounded

I want to make it to the lake

BUT I KEEP REROUTING

I just gotta stay strong throughout this

Last time how did

I make it out this

Face in pillow I am shouting

And wailing

No hope of prevailing

Sick of failing

What a wonderful villain

Scribbling in these lyrics

Casted out by civilians

They look up to me like I’m above them

But I feel so far beneath

Guess I’ll just suck my teeth

And hold my head up high

And wipe away my tears

As if I never cried

And take in a deep breath

And let out a huge sigh