[Intro]
Doh-doh-doh
Real life situation (This is when shit turns into work!), the names have been changed (Right here, this is when the shit... this is why the checks is sent(?)), niggas go through this (the names has been changed)
[Verse 1]
Uh, uh
One day I was chilling in the crib, rocking the PS3
Until the telephone rang, wondering who it could be
Looked at the caller ID, never seen this number befo´
But I answered the bitch anyway, hello
The man on the other end said "Good evening"
Is this Mr. Franklin with whom I´m speaking
And I said yes, indeed it is
Now pardon my French, who the fuck is this
My name is Bryce and excuse me bro
But I´m calling on behalf of the Maury Show
Judy Jetson gave birth to a daughter
And submitted your name as the definite father
We think paternity test is in orda´
If you want one, we´ll fly you out tomorra´
And I said yes, I´ll hop on that Jet
To come out there and prove my point
Cause if you know me, you know no poking
Unless I got a Magnum on my joint
Now I´m having sex flashbacks
In this truck
I remember that night when the condom bust
Time past then, damm it´s been about 12 months
Fuck! That sound about right
First I thought I wasn´t, but now I think I might
Be raising a little girl
Butterflies on the flight
Spitta welcome to the real world
Tires screeching
Plane is landing
Trying not to think about what´s happening
Checked into my hotel room
Watching cartoons but a nigga wasn´t laughin´
Front desk called said the limo´s downstairs
Too bring me to the set where they tapin´ the show
Now I´m in the green room pacin´ the floor
When they call me out to the stage
The women in the crowd all look at me with hate
The men look at me with expressions that say
"Damn youngster, hope it all go your way"
They put pictures of me and baby side-by-side
The crowed sighed when they saw how much we look alike
Even Maury said we had the same eyes
Funny how one night can rearrange a whole life
Took a commercial break and came back
An assistant dropped a folder in his lap
He pulls out a envelope and holds it up
Says these are the results
And then the crowd hushed
Suspense was building in the buildin´
I hope my parents is ready for grandchildren
Cause I might just have one to give them
Cause if it´s my baby I´ma man up, pilgrim
The test results are unfolded
He lowers his brow as he looks over it
Looks up grinnin´ and says: Relax pimpin´
The bitch lyin´ that ain´t your
[Outro]
That is not my B-A-B-Y
Not, my B-A-B-Y
That is not my B-A-B-Y
Not, my B-A-B-Y
That is not my B-A-B-Y
Not, my B-A-B-Y
Shorty you can take me to Maury, I´m not claiming her
Spitta is prepared to be involved in his alleged daughter’s life, finally accepting that she is his own.
“Man up, pilgrim” is a nod to the graphic novel series, Scott Pilgrim. This is the story of a teenage slacker who must “man up” and defeat the seven evil exes of his love interest.
Spitta is realizing that the age of the baby coincides with how long it’s been since he and Ms. Jetson last had sex. He’s slowly realizing he may be it’s father.
The women in the audience already hate Spitta because they believe him to be a deadbeat, like every other guy who ends up on Maury. Meanwhile, the men are more sympathetic, hoping that, for his sake, the baby indeed isn’t his.
Spitta can’t enjoy the simple things he once did (weed and cartoons) because he’s nervous about potentially being a father.