[Verse 1]

If you were

Waiting for a plane

Stuck in terminal B

With nothing but your palm to read

You could sing this song to me

'Stead of staring at the TV

Let's say you

Got lost while camping

It might be tempting

To panic out there all alone

But CDs reflect the sun

Use this one to mayday home

[Chorus]

How could this song be more

Than musical decor

Or sonic petit four

Could it have some real use

Like a foolproof excuse

Or bulletproof glass at the liquor store

[Verse 2]

This song could

Contain some secret code

Which the powers that be don't know informs our opеratives

That it is unsafe to give

Your rеal name if taken captive

If you have

Jingle bells in your mind

This song could neutralize

That toxic little melody

It's kind of a remedy

For the corporate licensing fee

[Chorus]

How could this song be more

Than musical decor

Or sonic petit four

Could it have some real use

Like a foolproof excuse

Or bulletproof glass at the liquor store

[Outro]

Or ends to all these little putrid wars

Convenient pads for cleaning dirty pores

Knowing when to shut up or to ignore

Or bulletproof glass at the liquor store