[Verse]

Here I am, standing in this chair

Rope around my neck, I feel like no one cares

I'm hopeless, I try to talk to God

But, it seems like I don't have a prayer

Why can't I just be a normal man? Why can't I be loved?

I don't understand why I'm not good enough

I gave it all I had, and now, I'm giving up

And now, the only thing I trust is this truss

They always told me I should pray

They always told me God would take away this pain

They always told me time would make it go away

They always told me "Stick it out, you'll be okay"

But I'm not, and I haven't been

My life is a wreck, like it's an accident

So, I'll count to ten

And when I hit that last number, I'll be numb, and hope this madness ends

One, I remember when she cheated

My heart was broken into several pieces

Two, I was just another dude

But, you told me that I was the one for you

So, three, four, five, why'd he have to die?

Best friend was drunk, but still, they let him drive

Off the right side of the road

He was thrown through the window into the sky

Six, Grandma can not meet my kids

She went to Heaven January 25th

I wasn't ready for her life to end

I had so many questions to ask her, but now I can't

So, seven, eight, hope I fall straight

With all my weight, my neck should break and I will suffocate

Nine, ten, I begin to descend

Close my eyes, and know my life is at it's end!

Rope tightens and my neck squeezes

My eyes open wide, I'm barely breathing

And I can not even try to save myself

'Cause I tied my hands behind my back, I can't believe it

I just wanted to be done with all this pain

That my life has brought on me

I googled how to do this

But, it ain't say nothing 'bout all the regrets I'd probably see

I start to panic, 'cause my life will vanish

Any second now, and no one's here with me

I could've probably managed any sadness that I had

But, half the time, I felt like no one's listening

God, please! Help me, now

I'm not ready to go, but I'm blacking out

I'm not tapping, but my life is flashing as I'm passing

And I'm scared of where I'm headed now

The last thing I remembered seeing

Before my eyes sealed shut tight

Was a picture of my mom hanging on my wall

Staring back into my eyes

And instantly, I regretted it

And I don't know if I'm Hell or Heavensent

But, I know it's a mistake, I didn't take away this pain

I passed it to my relatives

How could I be so selfish?

I only ever thought of me

I could've called anyone to help, but

I just soaked in all my misery

Now, my mom's gonna find me hanging there

And I know it's gonna mess her up

She's gonna blame herself and think she wasn't there

As she buries her own youngest son

And my parent's marriage starts to fail

'Cause what kept 'em glued is under coffin nails

'Cause it's hard to love when a part of your heart

Is torn apart and no longer there

And my brothers and sisters will be with one less sibling

Thinking about the signs that they were missing

And they'll take the blame for it, but, it's not their fault

Every thought of it is like a wound with salt

And, I'm sorry

It never even came across my mind that y'all could help me

So many thoughts went through my mind that I forgot about you

Honestly, it's overwhelming

To my niece and nephew, I'm sorry, too

Y'all just think I'm sleeping, but, it isn't true

I'm gone and I'm never coming back

I wasn't thinking, I just made a selfish act!

My world begins to fade away

My breathing slows with every breath I take

Every thought of every person that I ever loved

Has made it's way into my brain

And I'm full of nothing but regret

But, it's too late to change what I've done

My whole life I felt like I'm depressed

But, my life had only just begun

[Outro]

*heartbeat*