[Verse 1]

It seems like every time I go and try and pick up the mic

I rap about the things that don't really affect me in life

Like how I'm great at articulatin' my bars that I write

Or how the fame will never change a single thought in my mind

I rap about how I'm better than any rapper in sight

I rap about how how I'd kill 'em on a beat if they even tried

I rap about how I'd eat 'em, and then, make fun of my size

I rap about all these mumblin' rappers and tell them to die

Because I get so angry when they don't even think when they write

But, come to think of it, when it comes to thinkin', neither do I

I like to act like I'm the greatest to ever ink out a rhyme

But, who am I convincin'? I like to keep my confidence high

But, I lie to myself every time that I say that I'm fine

Because deep inside, I'm scared to write about what's in my mind

All these sensitive topics are bottled up really tight

And I can't take a sip, cause takin' a sip brings my demons to life

I'm not alright! I'm not okay

I can't rap about the things that are causing pain

It leaves a stain when I put 'em on the paper, they don't ever leave my cranium

They stay inside brain and multiply into to a greater sum

It's like they stay dormant until I force them

Into the world, then, they become the main source of my torment

I cannot endure this, it aches to my core

And it's horseshit, 'cause all I wanna do is just ignore this

But, I can't, and y'all don't understand

The type of mindset that it fuckin' puts me in

When you ask me to rap an emotional track

I have to reach back, to a part of my brain that is black

I cannot escape it, I can barely take it

I can't face all this pain that my heart is taking

It's aching, every bar I'm saying

'Cause it's hard to make it day-to-day, these scars are saying

[Chorus]

I'm not alright, I'm not okay

I don't wanna feel today

I don't wanna deal with pain

Someone take this all away

'Cause I'm not okay

[Bridge]

I'm not alright, I'm not okay

I'm not alright I'm not okay

I'm not alright

I'm not alright

I'm not okay

[Verse 2]

No one even knows about this crutch that I have

That's why my discography don't have any songs that are sad

Because every time I go and try and make one

Depression awakens and takes over like a tape worm

And it eats away at my soul

So many stories that went untold

'Cause I'm not man enough to control my emotions

So, I bury them all down below

I'm not alright! I'm not okay

I can't talk about the things that are causing pain

I can't talk about the time that I lost my first love

And wanted to shoot myself in the motherfuckin' brain

I can't talk about the night that she left me

I put a bag over my head to try and suffocate

But, I backed out just before I blacked out

So my mother wouldn't have to put her own son in the grave

Can't talk about the day that I lost my grandma

I prayed to God, but now, I am lost

'Cause I asked Him to save her, but, the next day

He'd take her away, and now, my faith is gone!

I often think, is she proud of me?

She never even knew about this rap scene

She never even knew I swore, never knew about my tour

Hell, she ain't even know about half of me!

I'm not alright! I'm not okay

Everybody tells me time will take away the pain

Everybody tells me life is a just a book of chapters

And all I have to do is act like it never happened, and turn the page

But they don't that all my pages are the same

Every one contains the same info, the same pain

The same blacked-out window, the same pane

The same passed-down limbo, the same shame

I'm not alright! I'm not okay

I would trade it all away to write a new page

But none are blank, they're all full, it's not cool

All tellin' me I'll never make it in this game of life, and I'm a fool

All tellin' me to get up on a pedestal

Put a rope around my neck, tie it off, and jump until it pulls

Smothering me to death, maybe then, I'll get some rest

But, until then, I got some more people to impress

I gotta put the fake smile on, that fake voice

I gotta fake everything just so people pay coin

I always say to anyone who's fake that I'd punch 'em in the jaw

So, I'm hitting myself, 'cause I'm the fakest of 'em all

I don't even know how to be real

Hell, I don't even know who the real me is

Maybe when I can finally be still

The fake me will cease to exist, and the real me will live

[Chorus]

I'm not alright, I'm not okay

I don't wanna feel today

I don't wanna deal with pain

Someone take this all away

'Cause I'm not okay