Long after that boy

Who brought the world joy

There arose the tale of Saint Nick

With a “ho ho ho”

And an affinity for snow

He became famous for handing out gifts!

Year after year

The children declare

The praises of Santa each season

While fathers & mothers

Fuss with each other

Over vague instructions & missing pieces

Why does ole Nicholas —

Getting cookies & milk from us —

Get ALL the focus each year?

Does he even know how

To dress up a doll?

Has he ever stuffed one teddy bear?

Let’s all be certain:

Santa ain’t the person

Who’s makin’ all those presents happen!

The ELVES are the reason

For the Christmas toy season

…are they even paid for their tinkerin’ and tappin’?!

All the screws and the bolts!

The trains and the boats!

The child-sized electrical ovens!

It really must irk

Those elves doing work

While Santa gets all the lovin’!

Workers rights gone wrong!

Where is the song

For this nimble North-Polian crew!?

Trapped in a matrix

With candy for paychecks!

And wearing those curly-toed shoes!

(Yeah, why they gotta wear those curly shoes?!)

Little boys and girls

All over the world…

It’s time to know the truth!

And for all them elves

Sitting on them shelves

Well… this here is a song for you

This is The Elf Song. It’s about elves