Bachelor #3 - Intellectual

Bachelor number three, maybe you're right for me?

Better than number two?

Contestant, my source of pride is I’m point-oh-nine microns wide

And built RAM tough, with racing trim

I'm one-tenth micron more than him

Bachelor number three

Rape me, a sight to see

Make me your bride-to-be

Well, I'm the first in history

To be the follower of me!

See, my strengths count while his are void

In time I’ll have his kind destroyed!

Five million cameras testify to truths your stubborn heads defy

Your blips leave little resonance

Your actions have no consequence

Your opinions have no weight beyond the air your pierced tongue spits them on!

Soon you'll join us, with your father, in a chorus of "Why Bother?"

That number three will only love his shadow

So loud and brash he'll sure be double-plus good

Kids, turn him up, yeah

Violences assert you, or something like that

Honey, pass the tastebuds

Daddy says it's time to see

Who could be the match for me

And in my dream home, number three is plugging in my screen

The picture's so pristine, like our happy family

Yeah, yeah

That number three's the promise of the new breed

He'll caulk her hairlines, make us wanna breed rich

Kids, can't you listen? Stop biting each other

Stop screaming, honey, can’t we change the channel?

Daddy says it’s time to see who could be the match for me

And in my dream home Mister Three

Is on ev'ry magazine

With his teeth and hair so clean

We’re one happy fat machine

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Bachelor number three