[Introduction]
I had to go and write you this letter, because there's some shit I've gotta say to you, and i don't know if i'll be here to tell you myself
[Verse 1]
Suicidal thoughts they're something that I had, but I never went and talked about the reason I was sad
Most of the fucking time all my friends they didn't know, cuz I kept up with the smiling and I kept up with the show
I wanted to die when my head hit the bed, and I tossed and I turned over what they all said
Was I insecure or were my feelings right? I couldn't fucking sleep and I was crying every night
Maybe I’m just messed up, maybe I’m just stressed up, depression is a head fuck, it’ll leave you in a stretcher
Had happy feelings but they went and died, wondered who I really was as I sat in bed and cried
Was it a Lack of Friendship, or a lack of love, dont think it was that or a test from above
I think it was the evil thoughts that were within in my life, picking me to pieces when I’m pushing back towards the strife
Cuz the people keep on thinking that they’re never hurting anyone, these simple fucking words are just as strong as you be making em
Leaving thoughts up in your head and your body down in the dumps, stressing over nothing, man it's just a couple little bumps
Had a dream I was falling from the sky
Angels came and caught me before I had the chance to die
I looked up and I saw God, I reached to him but I knew it was a fraud
It was Satan himself, and he was smiling down at me, with a noose in his hand it was swinging violently
Man, I started fucking shaking when I saw the noose was full, when the body it was swinging then I felt a sudden pull
I stared in the devil's eyes and then i felt fear, I had no idea where my life was gonna steer
He lifted his hand, then the noose spun, my face turned pale it was giving me a stun
I saw my fucking face in the person hanging there and then I woke up man I was sweating everywhere
That moment I realised I didn't want death, didn't wanna go leave my family up in a mess
I don’t know how I could have been so fucking selfish, I don’t even know why I ever really felt this
Pretty sad when you go and think about it, it’s a simple issue but I won’t speak about it
I’m glad that I do now, I’m glad that I rap, Don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have that
I might be alive or might be dead, don't know whatever would have happened in my head
All my friends and family, via letter or a phone, I have to go and tell you that I feel alone
I feel alone
[Outro]
There are some feelings that you just can’t express through words
So, you need to music to bring the feelings out, and then you can really feel the emotion through it