[Intro]

Lame-Ass Rap Battles!

Steve & Alex

Vs

Webdriver Torso

3, 2, 1. Go!

[Verse 1: Steve & Alex (Danii & TAFox)]

Hey Alex, where are the coords we wrote?

Don’t need ‘em, I can tell that we’re stepping on two zeros

I thought paintings were flat, but you’re even thinner

You're so 2D why would you have a profile picture? (Nice.)

Watching your channel makes lava swimming seem way fun

Forget down, you’re what we’d never dig (Straight up!)

We’ll level you awfully low, Onе body blow quite Hertz

For your sake, gеt some other audio, Driver

[Verse 2: Webdriver Torso (JustGamer & Commander Jacob)]

You really think you rock with the lines you write?

Cuz what we're picking up is as worthless as diorite

You piss your pants when a diamond shines

Then you cry if you lose one; your mood’s swinging side-to-side

Here’s something to Evoke the sense of getting Vexed

Built a world brick-by-brick and it was broken by a Lego set

Your cycle’s not two-week; the movie trailer though?

If Warner Bros played your game, it wasn’t in creative mode

Plus there's a practice that we're struggling to grasp, and it makes

Our brain more broken than the shield you always have to your face

You stack materials deep in a cave, pickaxing away

Just to make gadgets so that you don't have to actually play

[Verse 3: Steve and Alex]

Spider shit; we’re spinning Web tonight

Only thing Driving through your Torso is Sharpness V netherite

Nah, use a bow. While their position’s always changing

Unlike us, with all their shots, they’re still completely aimless

Don’t let a mace in the wrong hands

I’ll knock a glitch all the way to the Farlands

We tower in numbers, they paid us some large bands

Want yours higher? Maybe just call France *old death sound*

Add up all your channels that just copy explicitly

And an Enderman can still garner more watchtime, admittedly

At least a PowerPoint gives you some options for different themes

You got no one in your corner, there’s no Aqua Affinity (Damn)

Put you to Bed, you’ll get sweaty when War wages

Smashing the rap game; we’re known to control stages

We’ll space and click to cut the “alien speak”

Hey, you know what we should pause?

I see the player you mean

[Verse 4: Webdriver Torso]

Your community regularly has criminals instilled in it

YouTubers reach a peak but can't build limits

If that doesn’t happen, they still form a brainless army

Making us question why they hate Baby Zombies

It’s like you’re cursed; be thankful we were conceived with beeps

You complain, with a high frequency, “updates are a low frequency”

And when they do drop in the game

All you see are more biomes to colonize and mobs to enslave

Crops indicate what you’ve grown to be

A content farm, so to speak, complete with controlling seeds

Our background is darker than some of Steve’s merch, how disheartening

Perhaps Notch was head of marketing