What if I said that I didn't mean it?

Mean anything that I want to say?

What if I told you that I don't care?

Would you believe me, someday?

I try not to look, but continuously fail

I try not to think about it, but it's to no avail

The way I feel like you would try to take it all from me

This kind of pain is so fucking hard to ease

What if I said that I wanted it to stop?

The way that I want it to drop

Dead! Totally dead!

Yes, that's what I said!

I want the feelings that I have

To put themselves to bed

I'm tired of all of the illusions

Falling, getting scrapes and bruises

I want to put this all to rest

And end all of my delusions

I'll go a week without searching around

To see if you are up to something new

I can only hope we won't meet again

I am so scared of you

And I said that I

Wanted it to end

And I wanted to be fucking done

But I can't let go

My thoughts won't stop

Racing faster than the beating of the drum

Of my heart, of my soul

My gods, this is getting old

Can I please just catch a rest

I am doing my goddamn best

What if I said that I wanted it to stop?

The way that I want it to drop

Dead! Totally dead!

Yes, that's what I said!

I want the feelings that I have

To put themselves to bed

I'm tired of all of the illusions

Falling, getting scrapes and bruises

I want to put this all to rest

And end all of my delusions

Please, end all of my delusions