AUTISTIC - Intellectual

I need someone to talk to right now

I’m manic in my movements

I’m so self-destructive

Why would god make me this way

If I were her I’d be disgusted

Help me somehow

Kick me around

I hate that I’m so helpless

When I hurt someone

I’m reckless

My behaviors are indefinite

I hate myself

I’m a monster

I want to soft-reset my life

Don’t want to disappoint my father

I think about it every night

Why am I filled with so much hatred

Feel so stupid when I opеn my mouth

I’m always jaded

Everything is always bringing me down

I’m suffocating

In my thoughts can nеver figure it out

I’m in a maze

In my own head and now I’m spiraling down

Poison inside of my mind

I can’t

Shake the feeling that I will die

I need to calm down

Or I will lash out

All of these dark thoughts

And I can’t speak now

I thought that I was finished feeling sorry for myself

I’m self-aware that everything I’m saying isn’t gonna help

I fall apart near every day and in my happiness I pray that my condition won’t afflict me further look at where that’s getting me

Tired of waking up

Cutting corners and trading places

With versions of myself I’m

Feeling misguided and out of place like all the damn time

Can’t catch a break, constantly misplacing my own ego

Seconds late and steadily fading I’m losing control

Agitated with knowing