[Verse 1]

Why do I feel like a labrat?

Pushing the pleasure-lever to death

I'm doom scrolling, just zoning

In my digital meth

My real life cries

Missing everyone that I meet

I'd trade in thirst-trap Snaps for real-life bodyheat

GPT laughs cause the humans are dead

And now I'm only worth as much as the prompts in my head

I should feel lucky that I'm walking in this century

I try to smile in denial of my ChatGPTSD

[Chorus]

I'm an Absolute Pro

I'm an Absolute Pro now

[Verse 2]

There's nothing quite like bad news to chase away the blues

To drain my energy and leave me less enthused

About life and confused on my moral attitudes

Sacrificing my emotions at the altar of views

Gimme scary headlines to waste away my time

To get me up in arms about the latest hate crime

I'm no longer feeling fine; Got a cortisol high

They undo the good work of all my SSRI's

I'm dying

[Chorus]

I'm an Absolute Pro

(Arianaggrandizing)

I'm an Absolute Pro now

(Alpha-dad grab bag)

Yeah, I'm an Absolute Pro

(Abraham Link-in-bio)

I'm an Absolute Pro now

(Nepo Baby BBQ)

[Bridge]

My rizz is dead; feel like a fish out of water

All while my almond mom is bingeing bottomless enchiladas

My inner Leo is loose

Regaling Taylor Swift dupes

It's giving Corps-core, cottage-core

With Hailey B. juice

Crusty eyed dogs trip on fluoride stairs

With incognito mode karen

Getting that boyfriend air-in

All my squeaky clean girls been scrapping their build

I'm shexting customer service

But they just read me to filth because I'm

[Chorus]

I'm an Absolute Pro

I'm an Absolute Pro now

(Live Laugh Lyme-Disease)

'Cause I'm an Absolute Pro

(Emoji-shaming at the Airport)

I'm an Absolute Pro now

(Reddit-It)

Yeah, I'm an Absolute Pro

(Here for a long-time, not a good time)

I'm an Absolute Pro now

(Red-Flags Magic Mountain)

And I'm an Absolute Pro

(Fire-breathing Drag'n'drop)

I'm an Absolute Pro now