[Instrumental: DOOM & RZA - Books Of War]

[Intro]

Listen to this beat man, on my MF doom shit right now

Ckl

[Verse 1]

Headed towards rock bottom, landed 6 ft off the mark

Started digging my own grave, been 20 years so far

Thought i saw a light, a shine, when jenn was mine

But its clear now nothing in my life is gen-u-ine

So i fucking think to myself that its really kind-

A sad that my social skills will always be this bad

And that i take everything all too much for granted

I meant it, friends, family, time on this planet

I spent it, all of my time doing nothing useful

Mid life crisis at 20, the fuck is feeling youthful

Just being truthful, life feels pointless as fuck

Is it derealization speaking or am i shit out of luck

I feel worthless, blame it on the add

Poor addition to my life, thats already knee deep

In shit, i wanna quit, but thats selfish

I can't help it, just how my brain works, this is hellish

I can't tell if, this is normal or if its just me

I've always been a piece of shit, but now I'm feeling crazy

[Verse 2]

Wish i had xannies, dissociating at night

Been poppin addies daily for demotivated life

Living with a flawed mind, i feel like i been

Chemicals imbalanced like failing intro to chem

I feel condemned everyday as i wake up and breathe

As if life isn't what they made it out to be

I can't write bars, so i hit em when i hate me

I shoot the shit daily; talkin o.z and m.g

I feel empty

[Verse 3]

Survival of the fit

Definitely dont remember signing up for this shit

God skipped the eulogy, just sent me out to mourn

Royalty like queen, but wish id never been born at all

Feelin so small in the whole universe

Therapy from verse, but its just makin it worse

Lifes a curse, know theres 7 bill in the world

In my eyes, theres no one out there, no grill, no girl, i mean

Sometimes i feel like i dont value my friends

Guess they are a means to what fucking ends

For me, one forty three, i said it, didn't feel real

Cause to me, they're a piece of meat with no depth and no feel, but it-

Gives me peace of mind when i believe

That these fucking women have no personality

Maybe its all because of my social anxiety

That im illogical and use all these fallacies

Always feelin correct with my flawed perspective

Paradoxical thoughts but can't interject it

I can't respect it, but without these amphetamines

I dont have the means to leave all these screens-

All day, instead of doing something productive

Fuck this, not doing shit fore i kick the bucket

Emotionally numb, this shit is so fucking dumb

Can't even count the reasons to give a fuck on my thumb

My mortality and existence just plague my mind

But i know in the end, no man can escape from time

So i write a rhyme to try alleviate my pain

Only to forget that i have nothing left to gain