[Verse 1]

When I was 4 I was fighting for my life

They stabbed me up with needles tryna get the treatment right

I was scared I was dying like the kid the other night

Cuz he ain't get the same meds that I did on the flight

And now he's dead man that should've been me

Like what if he was that dude who coulda cured a disease

Or figured out a way to save us when the earth would deplete

Or then became the fucking president who nurtured the peace

I just don't get it cuz I ain't living my life

Man all I do is sit at home and fucking bitch when I write

Then fuck a bitch every night, instead of picking them right

Cuz in my past every girl I had was picking a fight

And it made me nervous, my circuits are shot and I don't care

I'm tryna find the words that'll surface and find air

I'm working to feel worth it I'm hurt and it's not fair

Cuz I feel like I been searching for purpose that's not there

And now I'm scared

[Chorus]

And now I'm scared

And I don't like to talk about my feelings

Cuz the man inside the mirror got some demons

Motherfucker and I'm scared

And now I'm scared

But I been acting like I'm okay

Even though deep inside I been lost in my mind

And I'm scared

[Verse 2]

But I'm alive and well

Well, I'm alive but I'm far from well

So the doctors say I need to focus more on my health

Because I rap to help you but it ain't helping myself

I keep myself pinned down with the words that I spit

Instead of moving past pain I indulge in the shit

Look, you probably thinking it's hot

But it caused my anxiety and that shit don't stop

I can't even leave my house so I hide in my room

Cuz everybody in my town talks down on me to

They see me as a fucking rapper some delusional goon

And judge me based off every lyric not the shit that I do

And it made me pissed

I'm bitching but shit it's just not fair

I'm itching for the figures I figured its right there

The bigger picture I painted is failing to find air

Cuz the genre started changing my brain is just not there

And now I'm scared

[Chorus]

And now I'm scared

So I don't leave my room too often

Man there's to much talk around my name

Motherfucker now I'm scared

And now I'm scared

I don't do well when I'm lonely

But I'm always by myself

And maybe that's the reason that I'm scared

[Verse 3]

For my family and friends that I made

Cuz death is just around the corner that could happen today

And shit I couldn't even fathom what my family would say

If they seen me laying dead in my casket one day

I seen my parents last week, I ain't seen them in months

Shit my mom looked nervous cuz I'm hanging with thugs

And she's scared I'll OD cuz I got into drugs

So before I thought to leave I went and gave her a hug and she latched on

Like she won't see me again

I got a feeling that the reason is the shit that I said

I tell my fans everyday that I wish I was dead

So I can finally be in peace instead of dealing with dread and it made me mad

I'm passing the pain to my own fam

I stacked all the odds in my favor to make rap

Now I'm laughing about passing and having a whole gram

Cuz I'm lacking all the passion I had and its so sad

And now I'm scared