[Intro]

Why now? Oh body fuck why now?

You've been so well behaved, oh body fuck why now?

She's gonna think I'm a freak pervert

No! Why now? Oh body fuck why now?

[Verse 1]

So I took her to the pics

To see Schindler's list (Oh yeah, how did it go?)

It was going kinda well until she tapped me on the leg

"Is that smoke I can smell?" (Oh this is gonna be good)

The place lit up like blackpool pier

And I came to terms with dying in here

They said "Get out, find your nearest exit"

But I got a bigger problem than brexit

[Pre-Chorus]

Why now? Oh body fuck why now?

You've been so well behaved, oh body fuck why now?

She's gonna think I'm a freak pervert

No! Why now? Oh body fuck why now?

[Chorus]

Why does this always happen to me

When I don't need it?

Another case of life being unfair

I swear it's nothing personal, oh, nevermind

[Verse 2]

So I try to start thinking about something

That'll get this modest tent to shrink

So I wrack my brain for the worst things I've ever seen

10 pages deep in a search for naked pics of The Queen

I google roadkill, blue waffle and Madonna's teeth

I've started doubting myself, maybe this is my thing

Oh wait, it's going down

I think I might be good

But then she grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet

In silence, the three of us stood

[Chorus]

Why does this always happen to me

When I don't need it?

Another case of life being unfair

I swear it's nothing personal, oh, nevermind

[Bridge]

Oh what a fuck up

I should get this thing fucking locked up

She's offering to blow it (Blow it, blow it)

And I said, nothing and exploaded, oh!

[Chorus]

Why does this always happen to me

When I don't need it?

Another case of life being unfair

I swear it's nothing personal

[Chorus]

Why does this always happen to me

When I don't need it?

Another case of life being unfair

I swear it's nothing personal