[Intro]

Uh, yeah, fo' sho'

Fishes be coming at me like "Yo, yo Joe man

You're the best frycook, dawg" (fraz baby)

I be like (Flipped from front to back) "Respect man" (Respect)

These fake fishes done lowered the bar, you know what I'm sayin?

[Verse 1]

Fishes be like, “Joe, you ain't never burned”

Fuck the janitor, my cooking been solidified

Still put the kelp fries on the side

Bitch, if you a plankton, then pay me, no never mind

I was cookin’, gеt that patty shipment then I let it freezе

Take a patty off the grill and let that motherfucker breathe

Sit outside of Plankton’s crib and let that motherfucker leave

Walk my ass right in and shoot Miss Karen in the motherboard

Cookin, never takin' patties off too early

Might accidentally burn it, but I’d rather take my chances

This kelp shake got me lurkin’ where you workin’ at the night shift

69 patties to the left, but I’m in my right mind

Cookin’, apron gon be sagging till I’m 40

Culinarily sharper than these stupid ass fishes

Krabby ain't gon throw me in this infomercial

Let Plankton see how far up in his mouth my sponge can go

So go ahead, choke on this patty visit Chum on repeat

Might get promoted but I’m always gon belong to Bikini

[Chorus]

I'm straight cookin', uh

And it tastes so good, uh, and it looks so right

Uh, yeah, and it tastes so good

Uh, and it looks so right

'Cause mothafucka I'm cookin’

[Verse 2]

Selling you the science of the formula

Every time I cook, I’m takin crabs right off the crab rack

I done been through boating school, I’m trying not to repeat that

Tryna feed customers, give a fuck about your food review

Patties are acclaimed but that shit don’t mean a thing

When you putting patties in the microwave, cooking kelp

Go jellyfishin’ other days, I’m too cold for those fishing nets

Don’t let nobody squash yo booty when the door close, Plankton

Sandy let me hit it cause I’m cookin’

Fishes need not apply, so fly, might serve her cousin

Swiftly bout to serve some sweet kelp to your sweetheart

Then get some groceries off Mr. Krabs’ EBT card

Why the feds worried bout me clocking in this day shift

When there’s prawns and fishes out here getting drowned in Arizona?

[Chorus]

Bitch I’m cookin', uh

And it tastes so good, uh, and it looks so right

Uh, yeah, and it tastes so good

Uh, and it looks so right

'Cause mothafucka I'm cookin’

[Verse 3]

We’re not against Chum but we’re against Plankton

Can’t be legit when every spongy in your clique sold kelp

Predicate fishes in the Krusty Krab, real crabs can vouch for me

Teach a squid how to flip or customers might cop a meal from me

And smoke kelp in our boat with us

Cause in the past, my low-class sponge ass would cook for my own fuckin family members

I hate to say it, ain't no need to cook discreet

If she don’t buy from me, she get it from the plankton up the street

Cause he cookin’, and yeah, she’d probably suck his dick for it

(I don't even know how that's possible)

It turned out, Chum ain't shit so she turned to Krusty

My boss’ last fish made patties in the plastic

Tried to feed himself, opened the freezer and got blasted

Patties on borrowed time, expiration date, they passed it

So lock Krabs up forever for poisoning the masses

[Chorus]

I’m cookin', uh

And it tastes so good, uh, and it looks so right

Uh, yeah, and it tastes so good

Uh, and it looks so right

'Cause mothafucka I'm cookin'