[Intro: Chester P]

I dedicate this shit to Mr Spooner man

For the spoonerisms that run through my mind frequently man

I've been doing this shit for years and years and years man

I've been doing this shit way before you cats were even rapping and shit man

Spoonerising words here man, it's my thing yo

[Verse 1: Chester P]

I came tonight like a watch with the right time

Spoonerise most of these words and make a tight rhyme

I drag Braintax from train backs down the train tracks

Leave the bay packed out from my pay-back

I slay tracks like a prison tray slacks

I bait snacks, straight up I break snake backs

You're bait wack, I take weight back when I flutter-by

Flapping like the wings of a mutated butterfly

Your mum and dad's dumb and mad at a heper's land

Once you're getting shook you're falling off like a leper's hand

I kill skills, my skill kills the format

With more fat than thin, store raps like a rap strap

I do tai-chi, then I drink chai tea

You don't wanna fight me like ten Ayia Napa G's

Eyes like the Japanese all try'na bite me

No matter who you might be you'll wanna see the back of P's

Just like a pack of bees

Or gang of crack heads, I hack creds

In a rat's head, leave your hats red

Raps that are not warm, try'na say "What Norm?"

You don't wanna watch me I'm nasty like cock porn

Bars so hot when I spit I could pop corn

Spock warns just what spawns from the right books

[In] spite of any dangers fake cats bite rooks

Life tooks souls where the heights look too high

Spoonerisms, listen to the news cry

Fronting like you're hard cause you know you're little crew's nigh

I do chicks who chew dicks out in Shanghai

And if you're too embarrassed then the lot of you can hang shy

Your band sank in the sand bank of slow sales

Razor-sharp toenails, leave you all with no tails

I know you've heard about the beggars and the chooser

Me, I'm into bars like its Chequers and the boozer

And the bed-taker chicks in stilts and Ted Baker

Lick brains on Brick Lane for red papers

Ped rapers, took your ped and said "laters"

It's a mixed up kettle of fish, the bread haters

Bread frakers, who break bread to tread waiters

And some guys get in a mess and wed traitors

Still rock snap-crackle-pop from the hilltop

With ten sick bres who strap Glocks and go until hop

I thrive on a pack of lies, in this life

If I run into a lack of pies, it's buck fever

Some kids only exist to fuck beaver

And you never wanna trust in life or luck neither

It's iller than the lion's den, realer a crying fam'

Swimming in the flames, it was safer in a frying pan

Plenty chicks, they ain't really gonna take your shit

Some are having fits just for telling her to "shake yer tits"

And some are nasty, their words'll come and tease your ears

Some'll see your pain and wanna come and ease your tears

And some'll leave you like your pole need surgery

Some are angelic but my soul needs purgery

It gets gritty in my Tale of Two Cities

Where there's young girls pushing the sale of two titties

Words are like braille for the blind

There's few nifty kids who hate school but love the new fifty

Me, I wanna boot rears, sipping on a root beer

Cry for the few dear friends, never do fear

Anywhere I go, best believe I keep you near

The numbers might change but it's never been a new year

Rebel in a flat cap, drugs through your cat flat

And rats pack cracks in the cleavage on Pat's rack

I grill beef where the kids call me 'Bill Grief'

Still keep bars high-priced cause I kill street

Dreams in the streets

You're weak and you lack punch

Even back in school you'd be robbed for your packed lunch

I'm getting heated, best to go and take a shower

Spoonerisms, big enough to take a tower

[Hook 1 x2: ??]

Tell a friend, tell a foe, tell your trusted dogs

When I'm coming I'll be running with some dusted trogs

And they'll be coming with the anger and the tool-kit

Life's a bitch but she got a pair of cool tits

[Hook 2 x4: ??]

You've got it all back to front

You've got it all twisted

You've got it all inside out