[Hook] I don’t be poppin’ bottles, rocking out with topless models

I’m just your average guy

I’m not some famous rapper, major name with crazy swagger

I’m just your average guy. [Hook]

Guess it’s time to make an intro

Bet you thought a rapper would have pulled up in a limo

Nope can’t even afford to tint the windows

Oldsmobile fool, feeling like a pimp, though

See my salary’s average

I’ve got to fans or fanatics and I don’t have any classics

But why you rappers gotta laugh at me damn it

I’ve got tour bus too, Calgary transit

Eating sushi with cuties and making movies

Got doobies and tons of booze for the groupies in my Jacuzzi

Yeah right! I’m sitting alone in my house

Never go out I spend my time just sitting at home on the couch

‘Cause I’m afraid of going out in public places

Plus I catch a cold every time I leave my basement

Been at the back since I came in this game

Might have been rapping for years but I’ve got no real fame

[Hook] I don’t be poppin’ bottles, rocking out with topless models

I’m just your average guy

I’m not some famous rapper, major name with crazy swagger

I’m just your average guy. [Hook]

When I go on double dates I’m the fifth wheel

Sit at a table alone eating a kid’s meal

And I don’t plan to learn how being rich feels

I make Jon Lajoie look like a big deal

They’ve got fame but I tell ‘em so what

You got a big name now you think you’re so tough

I never get paid and I never get laid

When I’m rocking on stage no one ever shows up

Think I’m ‘bout to sell a bunch of records fat chance

Guess I should’ve come up with a better plan, damn

Women never tell me that they’re cheddar fans man

After concerts I just shake a bunch of sweaty man hands

I don’t wear any designer lines

Hell, I’ve been wearing the same clothes since I was like 12

Guess there really isn’t much to enjoy man

I always knew I should’ve joined a boy band

[Hook] I don’t be poppin’ bottles, rocking out with topless models

I’m just your average guy

I’m not some famous rapper, major name with crazy swagger

I’m just your average guy. [Hook]