[Quote by Alan Watts]

Nobody can help themselves they’ve got to talk human beings are a bunch of chatterboxes and when we’ve got something in our minds that we want to talk about we talk. Now poetry, though, is the great language, because poetry is the art of saying what can’t be said. Every poet knows this. You’re trying to describe the indescribable, and every poet also knows that nothing is describable. Whether you take a some sort of ineffable mystical experience at one extreme or whether you take an ordinary rusty nail at the other. Nothing is really describable. Those who know do not say, those who say do not know and yet he said that

My house a hermit kingdom, not like North Korea

Got the sweetest, something like Ikea

I'm the king of the court, you needa come to the house, Subpoena

Locked in my vault, something like Aida

Impenetrable answering machine, like I was built by Nokia

Living portable playstation, PSVITA

They stressed out alopecia

My peers seem concerned with the future

They don't live in the present

It'll be here soon enough it's no need for the stressin'

You can't be afraid of time, that's it's greatest weapon

I must admit I've been afraid of hours and seconds

I'm learning to accept it, to join with its presence

Graduated early but life never stopped testin'

Forever dissatisfied, so I just keep on pressin'

Life's a blessing, I work too hard gotta get more rest in

Thought if I'm not going forward, then I must be regressin'

When the world values money over everything

It don’t give a fuck about nothing

Unproductive production, it’s like selective progression

If it ain’t profitable, it ain’t worth discussin'

Tryna tell me I don’t work enough

Like some natural deodorant

Were tryna skip sleep, like it ain’t a vital component

In order to live in the moment

You gotta rest for a moment

My art exhibits modern issues

Like a display at the MoMA

Used to walk around in a sleep deprived coma

Floating right through my day, wingardium leviosa

Now the vessel of my body filled up with life like I’m Noah

Astute and sagacious

Mentally outrageous

My minds a garden

Protected from hatred

Very encrypted and sacred

Clandestine spaces

For me, life's a never-ending interrogation

Every time I make a discovery they try and barrade and take it

They want mercilessly categorize until they've dissolved the sacred

Leave no leaf unscrutinized leave mystery exposed and naked

Thirst for understanding causes esophagus burning

So much time studying leaves no time for learning

And we wonder why depression lurking?

Always searching, but never certain

Pull back the curtain, find another curtain

For such a blessed world there's a lot of hurtin'

An immense inner world I'm so internal

Makes it hard to overcome my outer-worldly hurdles

I been reconciling with my journal

I'm not really concerned with the realm of the material

Might as well be a vegetable

In another dimension like Tetsuo

Providing magical assistance like Kiki and Totoro

Life’s subjective

I got a real weird perspective

My mind goes on tangents

They tried, they can’t really direct it

I’m eccentric

They never seem to expect it

The human life can be plain

It's hard not to embellish it

Most jobs really suck, they gotta read you all the benefits

I was terribly bad at things

That now they'd call me gifted

Leads me to believe that talent is fictitious

Got a lust for fulfillment

I entrust none with my feelings

I stay up late beyond my expiration date trying to find fulfillment

The best moments in life be the ones where you ain't filmed it

The taste of the food oftentimes better than the nourishment

I just get stuff done never relied on encouragement

When treacheries arise it gets hard to hide my disappointment

Hard to be souple and smooth when I got so many flies in my ointment

Bike rides three in the morning, unpredictable I don’t give a warning

(Ummenumenum Umenah)

Strange sounds grab hold of my ears let go of me

Might have to cut one off out of fear

Might be a lil Van Gogh in me

They take what I do so serious

Man I just write poetry

I ain't got the secret to the mystery

The keys to end all my misery

Don't say it directly just leave hints in my tapestries

Sometimes can't decipher the superficial illusions of fineries

Sometimes don't use proper judgment to solve discrepancies

Let trespassers get the best of me

If the world's my prison cell

I couldn't tell you what I'm in here for

Run-on sentences

Don't know where it ends always lookin' for more

Keep a screen on me like a Teletubby

Trying to rhyme myself back to health

Restoreth my sanity

Trying to reverse the course of time

Trying to push back on reality

The elephant in the rooms wearing a suit, call it Babar

Separation makes people wine call that a decanter

Don't do the talk I'm not into all the chatter

I’m tired of the pressure

Man I needa sequester

Tired of putting myself out there

Feeling like I’m a beggar

Looking for something I can’t find

I don’t feel any better

Inspect your gadget is that thing building bad habits

Do it got your best interests?

Do them companies got the best intent?

Spent all day on my lil entertainment box

Connected to the whole world

Still feel like my communication blocked

Looking at the natural world, feeling like my connection lost

Social media doesn't care that you work minimum wage

And spend most of your time doing stuff you hate

Its sole goal is to keep you entertained

People so busy looking for attention

That they forgot to pay attention

I remember back in school man I miss it

When everyone couldn’t just check out if they didn’t wanna listen

I was stuck in the web like a spider's victim

Broke free of the system

Infinite feed endless consumption

Freedom’s more like free doom these days

Cause all we seem to do with free time is waste it away

You see it was designed this way

The longer you stay the more money is made

I feel things that can't be put into words

I have thoughts that are just images

It’s like patterns

I think about the atmosphere of things

I can feel the themes

I don’t even know how to explain it

Maybe this is what people mean when they talk about vibes

My mind recognizes things that I don’t yet understand

But it still makes sense

Clairvoyance

Get up off your soapboxes

Y'all preaching so much

You need to stop it

Get off your high horse

Throats be getting hoarse

Dudes need a lozenge

Some things can’t get done on yo lil boxes

Keeping up with bullshit that shit is exhaustin'

Every little things a hot topic

So many opinions

I don’t have time for me to process

Sadness on the rise and so is suicide

I ain't no expert so I'm left to theorize

Back when we didn't have happiness at the touch of a button

When you couldn't watch people have sex

To give you a false sense of pride

Phones ain't bad they just addictive

They so convenient it's deceptive

They say social media ain't social at all

Kinda makes sense when I cut that shit out

I started to evolve

Looking back it seems like the means to an end

The less I cared about that shit

The more I cared about my friends

Relationships had time to deepen

I was drowning in surface-level bullshit like the deep end

Weight of the world sits on me like Atlas

The worlds not what I expected its feeling like a catfish

GSE they be unloading all their baggage

Even the weight of the world couldn't make me serious

I don't vocalize all my thoughts so they think I'm mysterious

Feeling like George man I'm so damn curious

Out in the desert of life, scaling the pyramids

So hard to not find self-worth in the approval of others

Ever since a kid, I been a different motherfucker

Announced my album and they thought I was doing covers

Nobody knew I could rap not even my mother

One of those motherfucker rapping under the covers

A closeted rapper yet to be discovered

You ain't gotta worry momma I got it covered

What's the point in living a life without care for others

Become a cash cow they wanna milk you udders

Can't push you to the curb if you came from the gutters

If there was two of me it would over for you suckers

There would be no limit to what I could motherfucker

John, I like your songs but you be saying some weird shit

I said I said what I said and I ain’t fuckin stutter

Writing dope shit just my bread and butter

[Quote by Charles Bukowski]

Schroeder: But you knew you had talent

Bukowski: They all think they have. How do you know that you’re the one? You don’t know. It’s a shot in the dark. You take it, or you become a normal civilized person from eight to five. Get married, have children; Christmas together, here comes Grandma, “Oh, hi, Grandma! Come on in. Hi, you.” You know

Shit, I couldn’t take that, I’d rather murder myself

My taste is getting more obscure

I probably need to talk to people more

I like watching films without narrative or score

Music that's devoid of all musical form

I'm not really good at keeping up a rapport

You could say I'm getting wilder

But I just want my lil house on the prairie

I use words tersely

The girls and their be jukeboxes

Feels like they skip over and play me

I'm an observer of the sexual world

Of the sensual scantily clad acts of soul

My music taste is impeccable

Leaving the house causing a spectacle

Had to look a few times she too damn beautiful

Yo moms be like, "Oh John he’s very respectable."

Spend most of my time engrossed in thought

That's why when we get together, I don't see much of a need to talk

Life's quite the commitment, it's a full-time job

Mood fluctuating like the stock market

Just yesterday I was at an all-time high

Next, I'm not going to work and we in a depression

Not really tryna talk if you ain't my family or my best friend

This like when you go thru hard stuff but you still be smiling

Life too good it would be a waste to not get a smile in

Tryna rush my artworks

Man that's not how art works

I can write all-day

But I'm trying to make that stuff that make your heart burst

Were attached to what once was

There's a nostalgic influx

Everything these days a redux

All the girls wearing Reeboks

I might just write my stuff in third person

Get someone else to spit the verses

I stay overnight at churches

Wake up make breakfast for the priests

Plant a garden and cook feasts

The world works despite you

The truth is inside you

Thoughts strewn across my head like bookmarks

I may be intelligent but I'm very not book smart

Got knowledge of things you wouldn't expect like Nardwuar

My brain imbued with visions of grandeur

They try to conversate with me end up with one-sided banter

My brain be deleting shit

Me tryna recall the story be like talking to dory

Sometimes in a conversation

The other person will just do the talking for me

Play my cards so close they not sure if I even have any

They don't know how to deal with me

Life's a long compromise

It's measly compared to the world of the mind

Getting lost in the grand scheme of time

I ain't got peace of mind

But I'll give you a piece of my mind

Just a lil piece of mine

[Chorus]

Mother earth is grieving

[spoken word]

We gon' be the ones leaving

Mother earth gon' be here longer than us

We all die and she remains

Will it take climate change to make the climate change?

We ain’t got time to wait

Now is the time for change

The system is broke

It don’t make any sense

It’s in need of change

[Chorus]

Mother earth is grieving

[spoken word]

The children know what’s good

They've seen the signs

They've felt the pain

It’s time for change

The revolution was already televised

We’ve seen the destruction

We’ve seen the signs

At this rate, it'll be our demise

We don’t care about your bottom lines

We’ve seen the signs

It’s time for change

[Chorus]

Mother earth is grieving

[Verse 1 John]

This is large scale corruption

That’s why they don’t do nothing

They gonna act like they ain’t seen it coming

You can’t ignore impending destruction

2020 we shoulda seen it coming

We can get anything shipped at the push of a button

But we can’t stop polluting the ocean?

Feels like everyday I make a lifestyle change

They claim to be something new all they did was a light style change

I can get really happy but eventually, my smile fades

I look at people but they don’t really reciprocate my gaze

Plate full and they still starving

Y'all life hardened

You wasn't this cynical when your life started

I would probably consider myself a lyrical genius

They tryna take the piss out like the end of a penis

Unignorable talent

Artistical prowess

No work-life balance

Don’t fight the flow like a Taoist

The worlds far too callous

But I got thick skin, callus

Sleep on the ground

Don’t need a mattress

I was stuck in the motions

There was too much commotion

I was controlled by emotion

Turbulent like the ocean

I needed devotion

Same old basic notions

My ideas had me floating

But I couldn’t evoke 'em

The same everyday motions

Scared to take action I was frozen

Didn’t know how to approach em

This girl made me open

I get sick roller coastin’

I love it but my head can’t take the motion

I was ramped up I was boastin'

My egos one powerful potion

I was the greatest they was all toastin’

I felt like I was chosen

I felt contrition

My ideas never come to fruition

I'm too cheap to pay for tuition

Said I’m next up they didn't listen

Cooking up like the kitchen

This not premonition or intuition

This just my mission

I got that ambition

I feel like they ain’t wanna pitch in

I'm a point guard the way I be dishin'

This the shit that y'all be missing

It's all part of the system

Y'all don't needa ask for permission

Always looking more stimulation

Wish it was just simulation

Feel like I'm living in an emulation

Bootleg of a more polished version

Scottish warrior rushing into battle

Knew they were dead even before I kilt em

Even before I dipped my pen into the well of thoughts in my brain

Brought 'em to the paper and spilt 'em

My lyrics some real shit that’s why they feel 'em

You gotta find people you can be real with

He doesn’t even know why he writes poems

Mysterious character

Nobody truly knows him

Put pieces of my soul in my poems

My pain versus the worlds like teardrops in the ocean

You ever had a dream where?

Where you could you...

You’d do anything to fulfill it?

That’s that real shit

You don’t know if it’s a good idea

But you'd regret it if you ain’t realize it

Becoming disinterested in the things you so want to love

Realizing you have the perfect life yet that's not enough

Visualizing scenarios that have yet to come

While dwelling in a present that just doesn’t stack up

Life-giving me mixed signals

You gotta keep your head up

But just put your head down

I work long nights I’m in the zone

But no touchdown

Flying high feeling good

Can’t come down

It’s gon be a rough touch down

I don’t pay attention to the news

But I’m more in touch now

It took me so long to accept the now

I remember times when I never thought my life would be this exceptional

Don't ever expect life

Just respect it, wow

My creative process

Made up of eclectic collages

Hectic montages

Word barrages

Impeccable hodgepodges

Manifold collections of concepts

Infused with perfection composites

Fantasy induced erection mirages

In the pursuit of wisdom and knowledge

We resort to professional boxes

And semesters of college

Give up what's left of your vision to impress the all-father

I feel so destined to conquer

I live my life in self-crafted stanzas

Philosophical professions of passion

When I go outside my thoughts expansive

The worlds my canvas

Wanna live to see a new world like a fetus

Say fuck capitalism not gon feed it

Spend my whole looking for meaning

And I'll always keep on dreaming

But it'll never be perfect

So I'll always be scheming

And the kids' gon need feeding

Then they grow up and start forgetting

Get juvenoia and they start reminiscing

Then they return again to being

The ones who need feeding

So we keep on devoting

And we keep on emoting

I see the suffering it's a lot that needs solving

I am at peace with the world

And unite with its evolving

I had no ritual had to make my own

Had no principal had to build a home

They want me to define and package my work

I don't pander to those

Raw emotion, the only thing left when everything else goes

I want people to tell me if my shits wack like Anthony Fantano

They want me to lend them a hand, now I’m feeling like the mano

Going ham getting thin prosciutto

Don’t let 'em strip you of your identity end up like Pluto

Your head lacking growth chemo

My capabilities threefold

Don't you think graffiti makes the city pretty?

Especially if your neighborhood is kinda shitty

Speaking infrastructurally

'Cause we're not lacking in diversity

It’s really just monetarily

Riding through the city like I used to live on this street this street

On a street near me, the police killed a kid named Andy

Since that day I’ve looked at cops differently

I played with toy guns as a kid

But 'cause of my ethnicity

I’m less likely to be a casualty

Of unchecked police brutality

Brutality to put it lightly

I seen the police move like the military

These are humans in your own country

Not the foreign enemy

Is the killing necessary?

I support the troops

But I don’t support the military

Just like I’d support cops if they weren’t killing

Unnecessarily

I don’t condone any killing actually

I have love for every human

I just hate some of them deeply

Every time I think I've figured it out this world brings me to my knees

Begging for just one more day in this reality

But other days I feel like I'm an absentee

Like I'm not even present but they still count on me

Serene on the outside, insides verging on insanity

Confection cavities

Lead to resurrection strategies

Unnecessary casualties

Make you wish you could reset reality

Perplexing fallacies, permeating societies

Waves of melancholy

I'll be better later prolly

Wish this shit would stop happening to me

I may be sitting in my in that room I'm not in that body

Aimlessly wandering carcass lookin' like a zombie

Soul doing somersaults while I'm stuck in place

I'm floating through space

Simultaneously I'm lying flat on my face

Teary eyes induce chromatic abbreviations

Unmanned space station

Satellite disconnected

No point in communication

Sometimes my oddities make it hard to fit in

I don't see the contemporaries as competition

But they ain't got as many bars like free-range chickens

Or when your cellular plans got a satellite missing

I dream up schemes, wrote that last one while sleepin'

Visually impaired doctor

Can't find the cure

Wish I could find my patience

But I see all the way to the end

There's no anticipation

Depression leaves no impression

I Don't know where it's been

It leaves without tellin'

I didn’t expect the person to throw a wrench in my plans would be me

In the fetal position wishing, I could cease to be

Sometimes my searching can get the best of me

Lost soul no rescuing

Wanna forget that I'm me

I just wanna be free

I was having a good time earlier this week

Now everything frosted over and bleak

Fulfillment doesn't exist life will never be complete

So much food I got nothing to eat

So much good, it's means nothing to me

Constant blissful nothingness

Estranged human consciousness

Entangled in a mess of somethingness

Triumphant sadness

Reluctant gladness

Just gotta wallow in the madness

Can’t see my vision clouded with big fears

Dripping big tears

Little cog amongst big gears

I’d go anywhere as long as it ain’t here

As I grow up the people in my life seem to become more and more human

Tryna help each other through a life where we got no idea what we're doing

Flys stuck in the web of life waiting on a death that we all knows coming

Acknowledging your wrongs still don’t make 'em right

That’s why it’s hard to sleep at night

Cheap temporary highs

It's that hollow stuff that'll leave you feeling empty inside

The world so beautiful why we huddled inside?

A constant fog across the eyes

Distracted from our lives

We are never healed just occupied for some time

Looking for the organic in a world obsessed with pesticides

Staring at a blue cloud bank on a orange peachy sky

My blue mind blank stormclouds brewing inside

The beauty of this world brings a tear to the eyes

Explosive chain reactions going off in the field of my mind

Feel like a corrupt memory drive

I need a hard reset

But don't want to lose all the memory inside

Sometimes I don’t even like the things that I write

What’s the point of talking if you ain’t got no insight?

So I keep walking forward with no end in sight

I don’t know where I am

I must be under the skin, right?

I've reached the depths of confusion where the sun don't shine

I've reached the heights of delusion I done lost my mind

Sometimes I came back in shame, sometimes returned with pride

But I've always found something on the other side

Don't believe in talent don't believe in time

'Cause no matter how hard I try

When I wake up in the morning it's like I walk in blind

Seen that even happiness grows sour like limes

It's like we were all bit by the same fatal bug at the start of our lives

And since then the clocks been ticking on our certain demise

Feel like the world ain't got a place for me

Feel like life passing right on by

Try to focus on the little things

Maybe just then I'll be alright

Could care less about the finer things

But I seen every glimmer in your eyes

Tryna tone down the braggadocio 'cause the real world really ain't about that

I live in a shack

If I needed to move it'd take a few minutes to pack

Mind caught in a neverending existential trap

Arm out the window

Hair catching the wind like a dead cat

I’m a conscious cat

Check the discography it's always been about conscious rap

I'm on that peer-reviewed sci-fi philosophical rap

Lying in my bed searching my subconscious for raps

Browsing through my head

Skimming through my library of facts

Searching for bits of data to which my mind can attach

In the pursuit of meaning, I only got more detached

Animal instincts kicking in eyes raining out dogs and cats

My sturdy foundation irrelevant had a roof of thatch

Got everything I wanted but it didn’t last

Feels like everything just a sacrificial offering to the past

Needle in a haystack

Fetal position in my egg sack

Scrambled eggs where your brains at

Education filled the plate of my brain fast

Fuck lent what I need is a brain fast

Removing the brain just might cure the pain fast

They listen to my music expecting a nice melody

And some drums that sound like the sound when a train pass

Little did they know they'd bought a ticket, a train pass

On my train of thought which is now hurtling down the train tracks

The end of this tracks a trainwreck, a train crash

[Voice Memo]

A Modus Vivendi is a way of living it is in your control

A Modus Operandi is a way of operating it is not yours at all

You can decide the way you want to live

But you can’t decide the collective

Influencing the collectives way of operating

That’s the goal, that's it