[Verse]

Yo, it's the return of the Gifted Gifter

The Secret Santa grab-bag sifter

The Grinch, sleigh hanging off the ledge deadlifter

The best thrifter, the tearjerker

The Santa's little help employee of the year worker

The smile bringer, the joy inside the child lingers

The boy inside the crowd proud, he's a loud singer

The whole choir, the bow tier

The snowplow and the snow tires, the coat buyer

The "Oh, you shouldn't have"-r, the Birkin bagger

The gifted rapper, they told me it's the thought that counts

But really it's the count that matters, accounting hacker

Bank amount countin' backwards, a thousand smackers

It's the return of Kris Kringle, the piss singles, that shit tingles

Sendin' checks twice 'cause the name's on the list wrinkled

My chips Pringles, my chips been gold

My green mean go, your green mean slow

It's the young born again, good hood ornament

With a little chicken like a Cornish hen, Amazon ordering

Cohiba importer of Evergreen water in

Rapping all night, will he ever bring the chorus in?

Fireplace bright like I threw ten menorahs in

Ten more kinaras and a whole fucking forest, then

I buy the doll in the mall that the store is in

I hide the presents in the dresser and the drawer it's in

My dawg doin' moves, he said this shit is on the floor again

Feds was on his trail but he got fifty names in Oregon

I bought cases bigger than the suits that you see Lori in

James still sittin' but I'm sendin' a DeLorean

Look, it's Mister Christmas Bonus

Mister Made His Brothers Bands, Mister Nich'las Jonas

Mister Big Cojones but bigger heart

That's where the homeless home is

The Home Alone kid

It's the return of Kevin McCallister, the Swiss mister

The hot chocolate mixer that gets pictures

And big, big cousin misser, the quick fixer

The Wiz Oz, big blizzard, the big gifter

[Outro]

Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh

Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh