[Intro: Cathcart]

That’s Jason Phan, with a P H

Only rate you 10 on the pH

Cuz you’re basic, and I base it

Off of how you're bland but can't face it

Basically, I took GarageBand

And I made this beat, right on command

If you're facing me, you don't got a chance

You're Jason P, but I'm not a Phan

[Chorus]

Not a fan, no I’m not a fan

Yeah, we coming for you, hope you got a plan

Project an image of yourself that isn’t there

But I see right through it like a hologram

Not a fan, no I’m not a fan

We coming for you, hope you got a plan

Thinking you’re the man, cuz you’re rocking brands

But you’re awful bland, so I’m not a fan

[Verse 1: Josh]

Not a Phan, never been a fan

I don’t give a damn if you’re in a jam

You ain't nothing but a flash in the pan

But you always act like you're the frickin man

Mr. Phan, you say you’re fantastic

That’s a stretch like Mr. Fantastic

This a damn classic, this the last straw

Just like how California banned plastics

Yeah, we putting on a show for ya

I know you need your mom to chauffeur ya

I ain't even have to lie since

You don't even have a license

You don’t even have a permit

Man, you winning, I can’t permit

Oh, and when it comes to your hair

Why’d you have to go and perm it?

Homie, let’s duel, let’s get brutal

Why’s your hair looking like a wet noodle

Or the fur of a pet poodle

Or a two year-old’s best doodle

Why's it always look wet too

Like you greased it up with some jet fuel?

You ain't nothing but a little fool

Been minuscule since middle school, so

[Chorus]

Not a fan, no I’m not a fan

Yeah, we coming for you, hope you got a plan

Project an image of yourself that isn’t there

But I see right through it like a hologram

Not a fan, no I’m not a fan

Yeah, we coming for you, hope you got a plan

Thinking you’re the man, cuz you’re rocking brands

But you’re awful bland, so I’m not a fan

[Verse 2: Cathcart]

Not a fan, man, it’s clear that you’re weird

Your shrill voice always pierces my ears

I see you got around to piercing your ears

Just so you can go look fierce in the mirror

Bro, you're a poser who goes for the trends

Over and over and over again

See, you're playing tennis, but I’m the one raising a racket

And serving you over the net

That’s a tennis pun, and I hope you’re ready for more, Phan

None of this is backhanded, but I’m sure you knew that beforehand

I’m the card guy, so I’m acing you, and you know that

It’s basically game, set, match, except you’re no match, Jason!

And I know it’s weird that we’re both named Jason, but although you

Have the same name as me, you not the same as me

Shamefully heinous, disgracing it blatantly

Famous for fakery, aimless and fatally

Flavorless, even your favorites favor me

If I’m ranking the Jasons, we go Jason C

Then Jason G, then Jason G, then Jason P

You were born after me and named after, might as well copy me verbatim

You ain’t Jason, you’ve been nothing but an imitation since day one

And say, son, other than our names, there’s nothing we have in common, man

You’re the bottom, and my last name is different, so I’m not a Phan

[Chorus]

Not a fan, no I’m not a fan

Yeah, we coming for you, hope you got a plan

Project an image of yourself that isn’t there

But I see right through it like a hologram

Not a fan, no I’m not a fan

We coming for you, hope you got a plan

Thinking you’re the man, cuz you’re rocking brands

But you’re awful bland, so I’m not a fan

Not a fan, no I’m not a fan

Yeah, we coming for you, hope you got a plan

Project an image of yourself that isn’t there

But I see right through it like a hologram

Not a fan, no I’m not a fan

We coming for you, hope you got a plan

Thinking you’re the man, cuz you’re rocking brands

But you’re awful bland, so I’m not a fan