[Chorus]
Please state your name for the record
Cal Scruby in this motherfucker, yeah, present
Please state your name for the record
Cal Scruby in this motherfucker right here
[Verse 1]
A master of none but a jack of all trades
Lately, I've been slacking off fapping all day
Scatterbrained, always getting mad at small things
Prolly 'cause somebody threw my Adderall away
It's best if we don't go dig in the trash
Please stay out the yard, snakes live in the grass
30 milligrams that I hid in thе stash
Had to split the shit in half just to finish the task
From the mеtro to a digital dash
I reminisce on the past when I was sitting in class
And I was hoping they would sign me like the kid with a cast
It's too late now, don't even ask me that
I use ten percent of my brain, half my libido
Any more than that is probably bad for the ego
Thinkin' 'bout your dad's big ass in a Speedo
Lookin' like an old tan, fat Tim Tebow
Now I'm bricked up like Shaq at the free throw line
It's hard being me sometimes
An eye for an eye, if you see both sides
You can watch the blind lead the blind
[Pre-Chorus]
I solemnly swear to tell the truth
The whole truth, and nothing but the truth
There's no reason to lie
Got nothing to hide, got nothing to lose
I'm still here, y'all can't get rid of me
(I'm still here, y'all can't get rid of me)
I'm still here, y'all can't get rid of me
(Sheeeeeit)
[Chorus]
Please state your name for the record
Cal Scruby in this motherfucker, yeah, present
Please state your name for the record
Cal Scruby in this motherfucker right here
[Verse 2]
Saturday, I sat around thinkin' "Who's next?"
Didn't wonder why the Feds haven't made a move yet
The guy on the Channel 9 news
Said they found five suits dead in a toolshed
So there's gotta be a screw loose in the dude's head
He a crack-pusher, everything he use bootleg
No U87, no Bluetooth tech
He just walk up in the studio and paint the room red
Like he Bob Ross carryin' a sawed off shotgun
Holdin' that baby like it's a Dachsund, blaow
Talkin' like he not top ten, bitch, how?
He locked in, someone call the locksmith now
Cracked the code, I can't believe that worked
The password just "password" backwards
On his laptop, found a half-verse
It's a manifesto, they my last words
[Pre-Chorus]
I solemnly swear to tell the truth
The whole truth, and nothing but the truth
There's no reason to lie
Got nothing to hide, got nothing to lose
I'm still here, y'all can't get rid of me
(I'm still here, y'all can't get rid of me)
I'm still here, y'all can't get rid of me
(Sheeeeeit)
[Chorus]
Please state your name for the record
Cal Scruby in this motherfucker, yeah, present
Please state your name for the record
Cal Scruby in this motherfucker right here
[Outro: Clay Davis]
Think I'm gonna be the scapegoat for the whole damn machine?
Sheeeeeit