[Verse 1]

We have invented an invention

You know duct tape? It's not like that

We have created a creation

You know cupcakes? It’s not like that!

It's just a button, just a simple little button you can press

And when you press it you'll be happy with no harmful side effects

Okay, our legal team’s informed us

We must warn you of the button's side effects

(There's always a catch)

[Verse 2]

You know that feeling when you had something to say and then forgot?

This is not like that!

You know that stress you get when you commit a crime and then gеt caught?

This is not like that!

It's just a button, just a helpful little button you can hit

(Whеn you're sad!)

It makes you happier for four to seven hours all depending on your blood type

Also, someone random on the planet dies

It probably won't be someone you know!

[Chorus]

You're gonna love this new thing

This happy-feeling machine

Side effects and strings attached

I want this, but not like that!

[Verse 3]

We have revised a new revision

We got your feedback, you did not like that!

We have modified the button, now instead of someone dying

They will simply lose their balance as they're walking down the stairs

It’s not your fault if they won’t hold the rail

[Chorus]

You're gonna love this new thing

This happy-feeling machine

Side effects and strings attached

I want this, but not like that!

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 4]

This is our final offer

Our engineers have done their best

They’ve made the button softer

So it's more comfortable to press

You'll get one hour of joy, but then the button will

Make a college student oversleep their last exam

And a small business owner lose an envelope of cash

And a puppy will be told he's a bad dog when he didn’t do anything wrong!

[Chorus]

You're gonna love this new thing

This happy-feeling machine

Side effects and strings attached

I want this, but not like that

[Outro]

I wanna love this new thing

I'd kill for something to bring

Happiness without a catch

I want this but not like that