[Verse 1]

And it starts tonight, because tonight's the night

But not just any night, it is movie night!

I would've made you dinner

But my toaster broke

So you put on a little sci-fi film

About the dangers of blah, blah, blah, whatever

I am barely watching, time is standing still

I'm about to change my life forever

I ask you if we can chat a minute

And you say: "Sure, when the movie's finished"

So I fast-forward to the end and say:

"I think we should be more than friends," and you say

"Look, you're great"

Uh-oh, that's not a good start

You say you're not ready for that and

Don't wanna mess up what we have

But! "I have an idea," you say

And you reach into your bag of things that 20-year olds think are good ideas

And you pull out this massive classic gem

[Chorus]

If we're both still single at 30, will you marry me?

It's a pinky promise shifted one to the right

It's too soon for I do's, will you take an I might?

If we're both still single at 30

And I am not your first choice

But I'm a solid 30 plan

Hot damn safety net that I am!

You gotta back up, love, so you know where I stand

I'll take a maybe, a shot, or a chance

Yeah, I'll take a maybe, a shot, or a chance

[Verse 2]

So we cut to the scene where I build a machine

But not just any machine, it is a time machine!

I made it from my toaster

Like that movie: Hot Toast Time Machine

I load a bagel in the future slot

Set to ten and smack down on the lever

A decade passes in a single thought

I'm about to change my life forever

I find you and you're still single

I am obviously single

It's like a tale from a storybook

Until you say: "How does 40 look?"

But wait! I'm pretty sure you said, and I quote:

[Chorus]

If we're both still single at 30, will you marry me?

It's a time capsule, no, it's a proposal

A little bit of neither and a little bit of both, so

Now we're both still single at 30, but apparently

What you really meant to say was:

Ah, come on! Let's pick an arbitrary number

Kick the can down the road before we tie it to the bumper

You never thought we'd single at 30

(We're single at 30, we're single at 30)

But I am still not your first choice

But I'm a solid 40 plan

Hot damn safety net that I am

You gotta back up, love, so you know where I stand

I'll take a maybe, a shot, or a chance

Yeah, I'll take a maybe, a shot, or a chance

[Verse 3]

There are no bagels in the future

I have got one left but two slots in my toaster

One'll take me forward

One'll take me back

One's another chance

And one is closure

I load my bagel, I've made up my mind

Set to ten and smack down on the lever

A decade passes as I go through time

I'm about to change my life forever